Thanks for stopping by The Conversation.  Starting this week, we are moving all of our discussions to our Facebook page.  Click Here to join us!

Since the beginning of this project, our goal has been to encourage dialogue about the weekend experience throughout the rest of the work week.  Although we have enjoyed the experience that this page has offered, we feel that Facebook provides a more interactive and engaging environment for conversation to take place.  Thank you so much for your involvement with our online community and we look forward to seeing you on Facebook.

His Name was Sparky

When he was a boy his friends gave him the nickname, “Sparky.” Though he was quite intelligent, Sparky’s shyness and timidity made school an agonizing experience. High School was especially challenging. He was a small, 136-pound nobody. He remembered being astonished whenever anyone said hello. He had some skill in golf, but lost an important match. He was a fair artist, but his school yearbook did not include any of his drawings. He was never invited to parties. He later said, “I never regarded myself as being much and I never regarded my self as being good-looking and I never had a date in high school, because I thought, who’d want to date me?”

We live in a world where we can feel excluded and abandoned. Share a time when you felt excluded or abandoned. How did it make you feel?

Read Psalm 18:4–6.

• Where do we need to turn when we’re feeling left out and our negative thoughts and feelings surround us?

His Name was Matthew

Matthew had a highly unpopular job. In fact people generally ran when they saw Matthew or any of his co-workers approaching. He was a tax collector in Capernaum for the Roman government. The Jews considered tax collectors traitors. They were despised because they generally collected more than necessary and pocketed the difference, vastly enriching themselves.

His neighbors rarely invited Matthew out to lunch or over to their house. Matthew probably felt left out and he also left others feeling rejected and forgotten as he probably levied taxes that took away their hard-earned money.

His Name is Jesus

One day Matthew was sitting in the tax office as Jesus passed through the outskirts of Capernaum. It was to that man, the most despised of the despicable, to whom Jesus said, “Follow Me!” Matthew was invited. He was included. These two words made it clear that Jesus extended His forgiveness even to the outcasts of society.

Luke tells us that the moment Jesus called him. Matthew “left everything and followed Him” (Luke 5:28). That simple call by Jesus was more than enough reason for Matthew to turn his back on everything he was and possessed. Because of his position as an agent of Rome, he knew that once he forsook his post he would never be able to return to it. He knew the cost and he was willingly paid it because he received a personal call from Jesus who accepted, loved and invited him.

Read Matthew 9:9–13.

• Describe how Matthew must have felt. What did Jesus invitation show the other people who may be watching?

Read Acts 9:1–6.

• Do you think Christians were surprised when Saul accepted Jesus’ invitation?
• Would he have been included before this encounter? Why?
• Did his past matter to Jesus? Does ours?

Challenge

God has a special invitation for you. While we live in a world where we feel excluded and feel like Sparky (who grew up to be famous Peanuts cartoonist Charles Schultz), we don’t have to feel that way. God has an invitation for each one of us. All we need to do, as Matthew did, is RSVP—say “yes” to Him.

Read Psalm 23:5–6.

• What is God’s invitation saying? What will He do for those who say, “yes” to His invitation?

Read Mark 1:16–18.

• What kind of men were Peter and his friends? Educated? Trained? What was Jesus invitation?
• Have you accepted Jesus personal invitation? He’s open, accepting and loves you more than you can imagine.

Tis The Season

The Christmas time can be exhausting. There’s always one more gift to buy; there’s always one more decoration to put up—there’s always one more thing to make it just right. Just when we think we’re done, we remember someone else on the list and off we go to shop. We’re attending or hosting parties. We’re attending school plays and church choir events. There’s always something more to do. There’s always something that we need to add that will make the season more perfect than last year.

Read Luke 12:30.

• Who runs after “such things”? Who truly knows what we need?

Read 2 Peter 1:2.

• What two things is Peter pointing us toward? How do we get them?

A Holiday Party

In Luke 10:38 and John 12:1 we read a short story about Jesus attending a dinner party hosted by his close friends Mary and Martha. Martha is busy preparing and serving the dinner for their guests while Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet. In her frustration, Martha approaches Jesus to complain that Mary is making her do all the work. Jesus’ response is the opposite of what she had hoped for. In fact, Jesus tells her that what Mary is doing is more important.
Here’s the difference that made all the difference: Martha felt Jesus wasn’t showing enough appreciation for what she had done for him. Mary felt that she wasn’t showing enough appreciation for what Jesus did for her.

Read Luke 10:38–42.

• Describe the trap of busyness Martha was in. Are you ever in that trap trying to do just one more thing?
• How did Jesus respond? What does He mean when He says, “it will not be taken away from her [Mary]”?

Challenge

Our culture has wrongfully taught us the Martha principle. We, especially in the US, believe that for man, all things are possible. We are the masters of our own fate and the captains of our own ships. If we just work long enough and hard enough, we’ll be successful. If we can just find that one thing that will make it right, we’ll win.

Consequently, the idea that we need the grace of God in order to have peace and a secure eternity just seems wrong.
The good news is that we don’t have to buy into that thinking. Grace is a gift from God and it’s present in Jesus Christ for everyone because God is a gracious God. There’s nothing we can do to earn God’s grace. Nothing. We just need to receive His gift. Jesus didn’t die on a cross so we could sit in pews and have religion—he came to save us for eternity by the gift of His grace.

Read Acts 15:11.

• What is the eternal gift of God’s grace?

Read Romans 5:15–20.

• Take a close look at what Adam did and what Christ did.

What is the most wonderful affect of Christ’s free gift?
Do you have open hands that allow you to claim His gift today?

Understanding Brokenness

Brokenness is way beyond just having a bad day or going through a tough season. Rest assured that God is there for those times as well, but we’re talking about a life-changing, soul-wrenching tragedy in which every other trial, every other heartbreak you’ve faced suddenly pales in comparison. Brokenness can be caused by any number of things, and each person’s story is unique.

Although the cause of brokenness varies, the symptoms are similar, and the solution is always the same. We must cling to the fact that Jesus came to heal our broken heart. He didn’t just come to cheer us up on a sad day. He came so that He could show us power and healing when our hearts are in little pieces and scattered all over the place.

Solomon, the king who sought wisdom, recognized the utter devastation of a broken heart. He wrote in Proverbs 18:14, “The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit?” Your spirit can pull you out of a bad day, but what about when your spirit is scattered? What happens when your heart is obliterated? Solomon asked, “Can anyone bear that?”

Read Proverbs 18:14.

• Share a time when your spirit was broken, your life felt scattered?
• Was Jesus part of the solution? How did he help put the pieces back together?’

Jesus Came to Heal the Brokenhearted

This is good news: Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted! This isn’t just a nice greeting card sentiment. It’s not sentimental—it’s supernatural. Through the prophet Ezekiel, God penned these words about Himself: “I will seek what was lost and bring back what was driven away, bind up the broken and strengthen what was sick” (34:16). The solution for brokenness is not a program—it’s a Person, and His name is Jesus Christ. He is the solution to humanity’s brokenness. Jesus binds up broken hearts and causes them to be strong again, to live and pump vitality into our lives.

Read John 11:35.

• How does Jesus show us His character, love and nearness?

Read Psalm 147:3.

• What is the Truth about brokenness?

Challenge

God is waiting for you. He’s waiting to start the healing process. He’s waiting for you with comfort and truth in the Person of the Holy Spirit. He has given us the Comforter who guides us in His truth. If you feel disconnected from God’s comfort and truth, the Holy Spirit may be the missing link for you.

Read Psalm 34:18.

• What does the Truth tell us?

Read Ephesians 3:20.

• What is God able to do? If you feel you’ll never recover from your brokenness, remember that God is able to do more than you can imagine. Do you believe this?
• Do you know that God wants to do something incredible in your life? You just need to let Him.

Control is elusive. It is making things the way we want them or the way we think they should be and just when we think we have it; we lose it. It’s like being in a bathtub with a bunch of inflated balls. We try to control them by holding them under water and just a slight move causes them to pop to the surface. The more we try to control them, the more they escape our grasp and come up to the surface. We get angry and upset and the whole collection bobs to the top. We’re done. We’ve lost control. But, could we really control them anyway?

There’s almost an endless list of things we cannot control. Most of the times these “things” dare, defy and entice us into trying to control them—but reality shows us we can’t. People, emotions, children, spouses, debt, cravings are just a few of the things we try to get under control. We get suckered into the control trap. While we think we can handle things, all it takes is one little change, one little move and the things we’re trying to control (like the balls in the tub) pop to the surface. They almost laugh at us for trying.

• What are some of the things you try, without success to control? What’s your desired outcome in the first place?
• Read Romans 6:21–23. What does your life look like when you try to control things you really can’t.

Stepping Out of Grace

When we get into the control trap, we step out of Grace. Grace is the undeserved favor that God shows us in his love and mercy toward us. When we try to take control from God’s hands, we remove ourselves from His grace and miss out on his peace.

Tension and fear lead us to worry, guilt and regret. Grace seems to be far behind. Peace is something we want, but we stand with our hands clenched trying to control. Unfortunately, when our fists are clinched, God can’t put anything from Him into them.

When we’re in the control trap, nothing feels right. We’re out of focus. We can’t enjoy God and who we are when we’re trapped.

• Read Romans 8:4–5. Where is your mind “set”? On the things you cannot control? OR God’s grace? Why?
• What would happen if you let go and let God fill your hands with His Peace and Grace? What are some ways you could set your mind on these things rather than on controlling things? What is key for you to do that?

The Challenge

There are three things we can control: Our feelings, our thinking and our actions. There are four things we cannot control: What others think, how others feel, how others act and circumstances. Why do we spend so much time trying to control these last four things? Does controlling them lead us to peace?

• Read Psalm 4:8; Psalm 34:14 and John 14:27. Can you be in control and have peace? What do you need to do to have the peace Christ offers?
• Sometimes it helps to make a short journal of what you’re trying to control. List the things you are trying to control and see where they fit (controllable or uncontrollable). Where is God showing you to let go?

It has been said that if we could reduce the world to a global village of 100 people:

• 70 would be unable to read
• 1 would have a college education
• 50 would be suffering from malnutrition
• 80 would live in housing unfit for human habitation
• 6 would control half the money of the entire village[i]

When will we face up to the needs of others? When will we put our faith into action?

An exciting journey awaits us if we’re willing to open ourselves to a life of generosity and giving of our time, talents and treasure. One act of kindness—one simple, generous expression—can change someone’s life for eternity. A generous life is the best reflection of Jesus Christ to a world that doubts Him. It’s the Christian’s strongest form of evangelism.

Read 1 Timothy 6:17-19

• What would it take for you to follow Paul’s call to give and share?

Read Proverbs 19:17

• Why is being generous like lending to the Lord?
• What is the promise this Scripture makes?
• What does that promise mean to you?

The Right Attitude

Generosity leads to a wondrous life. Whether it is expressed in love, participating in deep friendship, looking for opportunities to serve and give, the seed for all these motivations involves some kind of generous life.

It’s an attitude. It’s well known that the optimist sees the glass as half-full and the pessimist sees the glass as half-empty. A person living a life of generosity sees a glass container that can be shared and the water as a gift.

Read Matthew 6:33

• What does Jesus ask us to seek first? When we do this how does it help us develop an attitude of a generous spirit?

Read Proverbs 22:22-23

• Why would the Lord “take up their case?” Does that help you see the importance of a generous lifestyle?

The Challenge

Generosity is like physical exercise. It’s not just good for you; it should become something that is indispensible. Our lives should be intertwined with a generous spirit but often, if it’s not embraced with commitment and “working out its muscles,” we don’t gain the strength we need to keep going. Left too long, generosity becomes like the atrophied muscle that’s been in a cast for six weeks—weak and frail. We fear trying it out.

The challenge is to make generosity a major part of our lives. The challenge is to get those generosity muscles strong and keep them strong.

Read Romans 12:9-13

• Paul gives a summary of the generous life. Commit his words to your own life and daily walk.

Read Proverbs 28:27

• What is the danger of closing our eyes to people’s needs? What is the promise of living a generous life?

There’s a conflict between God’s economy and the world’s. The world’s economy says, “You work hard and whatever you earn is yours, so keep it.” When we listen to this perspective, we “white-knuckle” our stuff. We hold on to it fearing what we’ve worked so hard to get will slip away from us. God’s economy says, “If we give it away, we’ll be blessed.” That’s a totally different perspective—holding vs. giving.

White knucklers wonder why they aren’t blessed. It’s because their hand is so tightly wound around their stuff that God can’t put anything in there.

Read Proverbs 11:24–25.

• Describe the contrast between one who gives and one who withholds.
• Which person is more blessed? Why?
• How can a generous person prosper?

Read 1 Timothy 6:17–19.

• Where should we be rich?
• What is the outcome of letting go of our stuff?

Look at the Numbers

How important is giving to God? Here’s a clue. There are approximately 500 verses in the Bible that talk about faith. There are approximately 500 verses in the Bible on prayer. We know how important both prayer and faith are, right? There are 2,000 verses in the Bible that have something to do with money and possessions. God spends a lot of time helping us understand letting go and giving away.

Basically, as we read His Word, He’s telling us that we can keep earthly treasures for the moment and we may even derive some temporary pleasure from them. However, if we choose to give them away—stop white knuckling—we have the opportunity to enjoy eternal treasure that cannot be taken away from us, ever.

Read Matthew 6:21.

• How important are money, possessions and your attitude toward them and your attitude toward giving?
• Where do we get hung up?

Faith and Trust

Psalm 50:10 tells us, “For every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills.” The psalmist lyrically lets us know that God doesn’t need our money. He is the Creator of the Universe.

We don’t need to give to God because God needs it. We need to let go of our stuff because we don’t need it. Giving shows God we don’t need it and it shows God that we trust Him to provide when we put Him first and give Him our best. Giving is both a heart issue and a faith issue. Jim Elliott, one of five missionaries who died while serving the Auca Indians wrote, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”[1]

Read Luke 21:1–4.

• How does this widow give? How do the wealthy give?
• What is each one’s perspective and which one showed a heart and faith that trusted God?

The Challenge

Generosity is the antidote to greed and it is a sure fire way to plant our heart squarely into the things that God is passionate about. The Bible is clear that our heart and our money are connected . . . one follows the other.  Could it be that our hearts aren’t as connected to the things God cares about because we are not putting our treasure there?

• In what ways is God calling you to be generous?  How are you responding?

[1] Chip Ingram, Good to Great in God’s Eyes: 10 Practices Great Christians Have in Common, Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 20007, 22

Why would I ever wait to have something until I can pay for it, when the store will give it to me now and let me pay later?  This is a question that many of us find our selves asking when it comes to things as little as clothing and as big as automobiles.  Oswald Chambers says that lust is “the belief that it is my right to have what I want when I want it.”[1] The world has made it so easy and so socially acceptable to just “put it on the card” and hope to pay for it later.  It’s funny how debt has a way of becoming unmanageable and if you’ve ever been there, you know how much stress comes with it.

Read Luke 12:15.

• What is the cause of our blindness to debt? What is Jesus’ answer for us?

Read Proverbs 22:7.

• What happens when we get ourselves into debt?

Setting Priorities

Haggai was a prophet. His book in the Bible was written around 520 B.C. and it speaks to the Jews in exile. The temple was in ruins and God is calling them home to rebuild it. The people offer some lame excuses for not responding, and God, through Haggai, tells them, “You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it. (Haggai 1:6)”

The building of the temple was a measurement of the people’s spiritual condition. They were blinded by their own wants. They had plenty, but they were blind. They spent far too much on themselves. Their priorities were off.

Read Haggai 1:1–6.

• Verse 4 talks about “living in paneled houses.” Debt drives us to set the wrong priorities. Is it the best decision to go into debt to have a “paneled house”? What is a better priority?
• In verse 5 he tells them to, “Consider your ways.” How could you reset your priorities to get out of debt completely?

The Challenge

Haggai’s questions in verse 6 in modern language ask: Are you eating more and able to buy less? Debt is a prison that is difficult from which to escape.

Dallas Willard wrote, “In our current world, a large part of the freedom that comes from frugality is freedom from the spiritual bondage caused by financial debt. This kind of debt is often incurred by buying things that are far from necessary, and its effect, when the amount is substantial, is to diminish our sense of worth, dim our hope for the future, and eliminate our sensitivity to the needs of others.”

The Apostle Paul agrees. He wrote in Romans 13:8, “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.”

Read Proverbs 3:5, 7.

• Is it possible to live the life Christ called us to live when we’re strapped with debt?
• What must we do to begin taking steps to get out of debt? What’s one step you could take today?

[1] Oswald and Bibby Chambers, The Complete Works of Oswald Chambers, Grand Rapids, Discovery House Publishers, 2000, Ebook edition.

Finding Direction

“The sailor has freedom of the seas only when he has become a slave to the compass. Until he is obedient to the compass, he must stay within sight of the shore. Once he is obedient, he can go anywhere his sailing vessel will take him. When you take the train off the tracks, it’s free, but it can’t go anywhere. Take the steering wheel out of the automobile and it’s under the direction and control of no one, but it can’t move. Man is very much the same way. Freedom—real freedom—comes only when discipline becomes a way of life.”[1]

It’s seems almost like a paradox; finding freedom through discipline.  But for anybody that has accomplished something meaningful in his/her life, it makes perfect sense.  Discipline is a key component to a full and satisfying life.

Natural Ability?

Some people appear to have an advantage. Their compass is their own, natural ability. An athlete may be born with a strong body, a musician may have perfect pitch, or an artist may have an eye for perspective. How many of them find direction and reach their God-given potential without discipline? Let’s look at some naturally gifted people:

• Michael Jordan. This basketball legend, with tremendous natural talent, was typically the first one on the practice floor and the last to leave.
• Ernest Hemmingway. In his early writing he labored hours writing one sentence. He wrote the concluding chapter of A Farewell to Arms seventeen times.
• Thomas Edison. Developed the incandescent light bulb after failing over 1,000 times.

They brought natural ability, but the freedom of discipline led them to greatness. We will never get anywhere without discipline. It gives us direction and frees us to be all God wants us to be.

Read 1 Timothy 4:7

• What does the word “train” imply to you?

Read 2 Timothy 1:7

• Did you know that discipline and self-control is God given? How does knowing that help you “train yourself”?

Will Power?

Discipline is much more than natural ability. It’s much more than will power. We can’t simply “make it happen” on our own strength. It takes God’s enabling to affect that seed of discipline in us. If we want to be free to live the life Jesus came to give us; if we want the freedom to be all we are In Christ and make a Kingdom impact, we need discipline.

Read Galatians 5:22-23

• Did you know that discipline (self-control) was already a part of your life? How does that change your perspective?

Read John 15:5

• What does this Scripture tell us we must do if we want to realize the freedom of discipline?
• What is the outcome of leaning on God and personal discipline?

The Challenge

Just as we have no freedom to play what we want on the piano until we’ve disciplined ourselves to learn the basics, we can only be free to experience the fullness of life when we’ve disciplined ourselves in the skill of Christ-like living.

Philippians 2:13 tells us, “For God is at work within you, helping you want to obey Him, and then helping you to do what He wants.”[2] God helps us by giving us the desire, and then he helps us fulfill our desire. He wants us to desire the discipline that we need so that we that He can fully bless us and we can do what He’s calling us to do.

Read Proverbs 5:22–23

• What caused the downfall of “the wicked”? What could they have added to their life to keep them from being led astray?
• Why is the voice of folly so appealing? How can we overcome it?
• What is “ensnaring” you from the freedom of discipline? Where do you need to exercise discipline so that you’d be free you to pursue God’s plan for you?

Stepping Up

It’s fairly easy to have the title of “parent.” Men and women were told in Genesis 1:28 to be fruitful, and for the most part, people of the world have been.  This is in no way meant to make light of those who struggle in this area.  But, as a noun, it’s not that big of a deal.

What’s difficult for many people is when “parent” becomes a verb. The title is one thing but when it changes to the verb, that implies action on our part. We need to be involved and we need to do something. That’s hard work.

Think of it this way. There are some monarchs alive today who only are royalty because they have inherited a title. They don’t govern anything. They may do some ceremonial things, but in reality they are only people with a fancy title. King David in the Bible, however, was an active King. He led his soldiers into battle, he governed Israel and he passed on his kingdom to his son. His title led to action.

If we want to be good parents, we need to step up. We need to transition from the title of parent to the action verb.

Read Genesis 2:18

• What does God tell Adam and Eve to do after “filling the earth and subduing it?”

Read Proverbs 1:8-9

• What is the benefit of a parent taking an active role with their kids?

Train up a Child

Author Kevin Lehman writes, “Training up a child means putting time and energy into teaching a the child acceptable behavior.”

Time and energy don’t imply just having a title. They imply stepping up.

When we make a decision to be a great parent, we make a decision to pour teaching into our children. Our actions, our preferences, our commitments and just our life are one kind of teaching. Another is the time we spend gently and lovingly instructing them. It may not be formal, but it’s taking advantage of those ordinary, teachable moments.  Parents need to take every opportunity to influence their children. It will strongly contribute to their lives and decisions.

Read Proverbs 22:6

• What does it mean to you to “train up a child in the way he should go?”

Read Hebrews 12:5-6

• Does training involve discipline? How does it help children and parents grow and mature?

The Challenge

Parenting is an active responsibility. It’s not just a title. Parents are to impart wisdom and life teaching to their kids. From their maturing, struggles and suffering, parents can offer incredible insight and experience that will help the next generation get started right. Good and wise parents are those who are actively involved in their child’s life. They give guidance and direction. They make mistakes and ask for forgiveness. They are involved and that involvement is a gift to every child.

Read Proverbs 4:3-4

• What can you be thankful for as you consider what your parents taught you?
• What teaching, insights and wisdom are you offering your children?
• What can you do today to begin, or continue to be, a wise parent and train up your children?