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  Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

  Thanks for joining us on The Conversation. This space is designed to help you take the truth from the weekend into the rest of your week. Enjoy the devotion and share what God is teaching you through it. I look forward to hearing your insights!

  527 days ago1 Reply +69

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    Kirk Stevens

    in reply to Josh (Social Media Pastor)

    Josh, My wife & I really enjoyed your talk the Sunday before last. We look forward to hearing you speak again. I tend to offer more than my share on “The Conversation” and I don’t mean to be a hog, but, I have a lot of questions going through my head constantly. I am not questioning the existence of God or the validity of the Bible, I know those to be true, I just need things clarified, it’s the way I’m wired I guess.
    Thank you for keeping “The Conversation” going.

    526 days ago

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  Mike Johnson

  Been away from the conversation for a while working my tush off at two jobs, but have missed it terribly! Great to be back. Need to mentally chew on this weeks devotional for awhile. can’t wait to read everyone elses responses.:-)

  527 days ago1 Reply +61

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    Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

    in reply to Mike Johnson

    Glad to have you back Mike.

    524 days ago

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  Conversation LeaderDebbie (Care Ministries)

  I agree with Mike! We need to approach this week’s devotion with thoughtful consideration. I look forward to hearing from others who have experienced God’s Hand in their lives through brokenness.

  527 days ago +63

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  Michele

  I left Jesus out of the equation years ago when my mother was dying, and the outcome was a broken me. Since I’ve asked Jesus back into my life I have an “Upper Story” way of looking at difficult situations. I no longer am broken about that tragedy. I am healed and whole!

  527 days ago2 Replies +77

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    Conversation LeaderDebbie (Care Ministries)

    in reply to Michele

    This is good news Michele. I’m so glad you’re no longer broken by the loss of your mother. That alone is an amazing journey, which I’m sure has drawn you closer to God. It sounds like you are allowing God to revolutionize your life and not just sanitize it. Kudos to you Michele!

    527 days ago

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    Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

    in reply to Michele

    I love the word picture. Thanks for sharing Michele!

    524 days ago

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  Elizabeth

  About 16 years ago, God used the brokenness caused by my own sin to restore my relationship with Him on a completely new and higher level. He used my change in “status” within the church body (it went from trustworthy to ‘we don’t know what to do with you’ during this time) to clearly speak to me that “no matter what other people think of you, I am the only one with the right to judge you; deal with Me, and don’t concern yourself with the opinions of others”. My life was in such disarray that I remember thinking it resembled a battlefield filled with shrapnel and hidden landmines, and that only the Lord could show me how and where to take each next step. I walked so closely with Him at that point that He did indeed lead me moment by moment, through confession, repentance, and learning to follow Him in my life as it was now. A little over a year later, I was blessed to participate in a restoration process within the church, where others were able to walk with me and observe the work of the Holy Spirit within my life, and ultimately restore me to serving within the body.

  Just four years ago, I suffered another kind of brokenness, when my dad died. Rather than falling at God’s feet, I felt myself keeping my distance from Him . . . I was so angry that dad was gone. A strong woman of faith gently suggested that perhaps God was inviting me to lean on Him for the things I used to go to my earthly father for; that made good sense, but I wasn’t ready to trust Him . . . I was still too angry to want to lean on Him. I found the distance between God and myself growing, and knew that this was because of my own choice . . . the pain this caused me was great, especially after knowing such closeness with God for so long. Over the past year and a half, I have been to be able to hear His clear, gentle voice again, calling me to surrender my pain, my anger, my loss – to offer it up to Him so that He could indeed meet me in my need, and I could walk closely with Him again. It has taken so much time, but healing is happening, and it is genuine.

  It’s funny/odd to me that when I created my situation 16 years ago, things collapsed completely and I turned to Him immediately – and He began the work of healing and restoring my life immediately. When I lost my dad, things collapsed inside me more slowly, and I didn’t turn to Him with my pain . . . and the healing and restoring has taken longer to happen. After all these years of walking with God, the “idea” of seeking FAULT remains . . . in the first case, I had clearly sinned in my heart and in my actions, and clearly knew that I could only move forward with Him leading me. In the second case, I had done nothing to cause my pain . . . but I sinned by choosing to hold onto it rather than bring it to Him. This was harder for me to deal with – harder to see this as a sin than the “outwardly visible” sin I had chosen all those years ago.

  I’m so grateful that God is patient, that He never leaves us nor forsakes us, that He who has begun this good work in me definitively states that He will see it to completion. I want Him to continue to break me, to remake me as He knows is best – to show me how to be clay in His skilled hands, and allow Him to shape and reshape me as only He can. To fan my belief in Him, and help my unbelief. To continue to show me how to live within the body of Christ and yet not be swayed by the opinions of man, but move and think and choose according to His pleasure, knowing that if I follow Him, He will be my advocate re my character, my faith and my walk.

  527 days ago1 Reply +73

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    Conversation LeaderDebbie (Care Ministries)

    in reply to Elizabeth

    Liz, I am honored to have watched this journey unfold in your life. A life journey can take us places we never thought we’d go, but as you so beautifully said, we continue to walk with God, asking Him to help our unbelief when the journey is to great to bear. All of this is part of being broken and discovering how BIG God really is.

    527 days ago

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  Kirk Stevens

  I really enjoy it when Tim fills in for Brad. Brad is the reason I attend Northridge, but when he can’t be there Tim does a fantastic job. I feel like he talks to us, not at us.
  Tim put our problems in perspective last Sunday. When we compare our problems with the problems of other people, in other countries, we shouldn’t complain so much. Things are relative, like the saying goes; when your neighbor is hurting financially, we are in a recession, when we are hurting, we are in a depression. People all over the world would give anything to have our problems, but we tend to compare our situations to our neighbors. We should be living for Jesus, not trying to keep up with the “American Dream”. Anything more than the basics should be viewed as a bonus that could disappear at any given time. The question is; what are the basics, food and a roof over your head? Or, does it include a car that runs well, a well stocked refrigerator/freezer, or money to buy Christmas gifts? I really don’t know because we can only compare ourselves to what we know, and most of us haven’t been to the poorer nations, like Haiti or Africa, so, we compare our situations with the people in our community. We feel like we have huge problems if we can’t pay our cable bill, or buy the latest Smart Phone. We can speak directly to the creator of the universe, who needs a Smart Phone?
  I would guess that the basics are shelter and food, but what are we willing to sacrifice to assure those basics? And, could we be happy with just those basics in life? Jesus should fulfill all of our needs, he should fill the voids that cable tv or cell phones don’t. We need to be willing to throw all those things away if they interfere with God’s plan. He promised us an abundant life if we trust in Him. I have heard many people ask what does He mean by abundant? I think it means that we will lead a happy life, regardless of our situations, or our circumstances. We should praise Jesus for everything we have, be it little or much, not wonder why we don’t have more.

  527 days ago2 Replies +65

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    Conversation LeaderDebbie (Care Ministries)

    in reply to Kirk Stevens

    Kirk, we certainly do compare don’t we? It’s important to remember that what’s on your plate this week stays on your plate… the same for each of us. I think of the smiles of some of the most beautiful children I’ve ever seen who have absolutely nothing. The beauty is they don’t know they have ‘nothing.’ These infectious smiles teach me to remember all that I am and all that I have are God’s.

    527 days ago

  • 

    Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

    in reply to Kirk Stevens

    Drawing the line between want and need is such a fundamental problem and most of us do so through comparison to that which is most visible to us; those around us. It reaffirms God’s words that those who compare themselves among themselves are not wise.

    524 days ago

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  Conversation LeaderDebbie (Care Ministries)

  Michele, I’m so glad you’re no longer broken by the loss of your mother. That alone is an amazing journey, which I’m sure has drawn you closer to God. It sounds like you are allowing God to revolutionize your life and not just sanitize it. Kudos to you Michele!

  527 days ago +65

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  Conversation LeaderDebbie (Care Ministries)

  I want to take a minute and jump in with a bit of my own journey. I resonate so much with what my friend Elizabeth has said. I’ve discovered brokenness but for different reasons. I have three beautiful children, two of whom have been diagnosed with a neuromuscular disease. Once a doctor tells you something that you know you will not be able to fix or control, you find yourself at God’s feet, holding on to Him as a lifeline, praying that He will fix it. There have been days, many of them, that I’ve been slow to recognize that God was working in my life, Mostly because I couldn’t understand why God would allow this to happen to my son and daughter. I moved farther from God, trying to win the battles myself even though I knew where the war would take us. When my beautiful son, Chris, died, I changed. I’ve been finding my way throught brokenness back to God one day at a time. I’m at the place where despite what is happening to my children, I want to be close to Him again.. this journey isn’t easy, but no one said it would be. Each of us needs to find that place where we tell God ‘I give’… and choose to let Him, (how did Tim Elmore say it this weekend)?… to let God invade our lives on His terms. And in that, we can work through our brokenness.

  527 days ago1 Reply +63

  • 

    CathyM

    in reply to Debbie (Care Ministries)

    Debbie, I cannot even imagine the pain of losing a child. My heart goes out to you.

    One of the verses that was listed in the devotional, John 11:35 is a powerful verse to me. When Jesus found out that Lazarus was ill, he didn’t go right away because he wanted the people to see God’s glory. Once he got there, Lazarus had already been dead for 4 days. Mary and Martha were grieving the loss of their brother. Even though Jesus knew he would raise Lazarus from the dead, he still wept. His friends were hurting and that pain hurt Jesus. Jesus cared back then and he still cares today.

    What I love is that when we are broken, our Abba Father doesn’t leave us broken, he takes our hearts and puts them back together again, in His way and he will use our pain to help others walking the same road we walked. Second Corinthians 1:3-5 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”

    So glad to see he is working in you.

    527 days ago

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  Marijo

  When I have gone through difficult times and challenges, it causes me to depend and turn to God for comfort and healing. After I get angry, maybe throw a pity party for myself, I realize that nothing is a surprise to Him and the trials and hard times I go through are part of HIS plan for me – the part that grows me and reminds me that He loves me and has a plan for my life and that plan is for me to be in relationship with Him, and total dependence on Him – through the good and the bad times.. The bends in the roads that I definitely didn’t plan on and cause me pain or brokenness help me to realize my huge need for Him in my life. I can’t imagine going through life – without Him! At times, I continue to try and control things, want to fix things or others in my life, when the reality is I need to get out of the way and trust God to do His work. – and on His terms as Debbie mentioned! That isn’t easy and is definitely a day by day process! And what is awesome is how patient He is and will wait for me to come to Him so He can bring healing and restoration in my life.

  527 days ago +48

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  Kirk Stevens

  The big question I have is, how does one add their photo to their profile? Now I can get down to more serious matters. I really like this “Conversation” format. Since we are such a large church with such a large congregation people don’t get the opportunity to talk with one another.
  I have been a member at NorthRidge for 10 years and I like it. However, sometimes I feel it is too large and somewhat impersonal. I grew up in a little tiny church where everyone knew each other quite well, so this takes a little getting used to.
  I have a ton of questions and I find it difficult to get straight forward answers. I became a believer by choice, not out of desperation. I thank God every day for all that he has provided for me. I had a wonderful childhood, a great loving family, great health, etc. I have studied Stephen Hawkings, Albert Einstein, Lee Strobel, Bill Bryson, Billy Graham, David Jeremiah, etc. I have chosen to believe in God and Jesus Christ because it makes the most sense. I am totally convinced that God created everything, but, I have no idea what God looks like, I don’t know how he controls seven billion people all at the same time, and I can’t figure out where heaven is. These are questions that I don’t expect answers to because we just don’t know, and we wont know until we get there. I do know, however, that God deserves our praise, everyday, I would, if I were the creator of everything and everyone and, in complete control.
  I posed this question a couple of weeks ago; How many possessions and how much money are we expected to hoard while so many people are starving and have no place to live? I am not a socialist by any definition, but, as Christians, should we be living in relatively large houses, own two or three cars, saving hundreds of thousand of dollars to retire in luxury while people are in such need all over the world, aren’t our silos full? I am trying to think logically, not politically, or culturally. We know that people are starving, it is in our face everyday, we watch it on our big screen tv, television has brought all the horrors of the world right into our living rooms. People write in “The Conversation” that they are struggling, and the only response they receive is, you’re a really trouper, go girl. We don’t offer any help. I am not criticizing anyone, I am guilty of the same stuff, I am just asking how much should we sacrifice to help another person? It seems that if we truly believe that God will provide for us, why not be willing to sacrifice everything?

  526 days ago2 Replies +50

  • 

    Elizabeth

    in reply to Kirk Stevens

    I’m excited about the new study that is going to take place in Small Groups starting this January. There will be new groups forming, so if you’re not in one now, you may want to join one. All the small groups will be studying “The Hole in Our Gospel”, which looks at exactly the issue you’ve brought up! What does God want us to do about the needs all around us, and those around the world? How can we as individuals, as groups, and as a huge church body, begin to address those needs? Here’s the description on the website:

    God has a ton of things to say about human poverty and our responsibility to engage it. Contrary to what many think, being a Christian is so much more than just going to church and reading the Bible. We have an obligation to be the hands and feet and voice of Jesus to the poor, the widows, the abandoned and the orphaned. To help us wrestle through this topic all of our Small Groups are engaging an adventure titled The Hole in Our Gospel. Be a part of one of these conversations with a Small Group in your neighborhood. All Groups begin the week of January 23.

    The link is

    526 days ago

  • 

    CathyM

    in reply to Kirk Stevens

    Kirk, I think God calls us to give, what that looks like to you may be different from what it looks like to your neighbour. Part of it depends on your ability, and in my opinion, part of it depends on how dependent you are on your material possessions for your security. When our possessions become more important than God, He may ask us to give them up. That, however, should not be the reason for giving. Our heart to give should come out of a heart for our Abba Father and our worship of Him.

    It seems that this is a topic that is really on your heart right now and something you should really seek God on. Have you given to the Beyond our Walls Christmas offering this year? (rhetorical of course) Pray for wisdom on what to do, and if the Holy Spirit leads you to give then give wisely.

    There is a great book I was asked to read as part of the Global Outreach missions trip I went on this past June, When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor … and Yourself by Corbett and Fikkert.

    “When Helping Hurts reveals the painful truth about poverty. But it does more than tell you what not to do. The book moves from foundational concepts about poverty (Who are the poor?), to principles (Should we do relief, rehabilitation, or development?), to strategies (How can we help the poor domestically? Internationally?) When Helping hurts guides you toward a true understanding of poverty and a plan to make a difference.”

    Even though I just read it 6 months ago, I plan on reading it again before my next trip in February.

    One more thing: giving does not always have to be monetary, you can give of your time and your talents as well. God wants all of us, not just our bank account.

    Hope this answers your question.

    526 days ago

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  Conversation LeaderDebbie (Care Ministries)

  Kirk, you’re right…there are some questions we’ll most likely not have answers to till we see God. But that doesn’t mean we stop asking questions, or pursuing truth. As a believer, God has called me to grow in Him.. and that should change who I am and how I view the world around me. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to be able to fix everything I see that needs repair, but it does mean that God expects me to live ‘beyond my walls’ and attempt to see the world as He sees it.. and respond with who I am and the resources God has given me. I would encourage you that there are many people who call NorthRidge their home, who are seeking to look beyond their walls as to what they can do for others. I’m sure you’re doing the same as well. Great comments!! Thank you for being part of “The Conversation!”

  526 days ago1 Reply +47

  • 

    Kirk Stevens

    in reply to Debbie (Care Ministries)

    So, how much do we sacrifice? Not how much could we sacrifice but, how much should we sacrifice? Should we go all the way or, just enough so we can stay inside our comfort zone? Or, somewhere in between? Do we give till it hurts, or do we give 10% & keep the 90% for ourselves and let the poor be poor? it appears in your photo that you are certainly a giver, I am impressed.

    526 days ago

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  Conversation LeaderWayne (Care Ministries)

  Brokenness is a subject that has many faces. It’s a topic that has come up a lot in my 43 years as a Christ Follower. What has been a constant…on my spiritual journey with Jesus & the journey of other Christian friends – we didn’t really “get it” until we were broken. I could fill many pages with stories of brokenness from this year alone – on many different levels. One of those being the 105 loved ones who have gone to eternity this year. Certainly there are few expected celebrations of the elderly who are in God’ presence after living 100 years here like our friend Felix Humphrey.
  Then there are the stories that most people would buckle under the weight of losing a husband and father of 3 children Pat… at the age of 51 like our friend Joanne. At the same time Pat was diagnosed with cancer, Joanne was diagnosed with cancer.

  Ed one of our Pastor’s who saw Joanne last Sunday & sent this note to her:
  “Joanne, It was so good seeing you last Sunday morning. Your smile, strength, and joy in the midst of temporary sorry was a lift for all of us who know you and walk with you through this difficult time. In my personal devotion early this morning, I read something that I believe it an encouragement to us. What gives us the strength to endure the unthinkable? What gives us the ability to deal with difficult family members? What allows us to put one foot in front of the other in tragedy? The Holy Spirit. May these words bless you today.
  “Perhaps you’ve recently lost a loved one to death. What do you say about that person? You say, “he died” or “she died.” But that person didn’t die. That person’s body died. The individual who lived in that body went on into eternity, either into the presence of the Lord or away from His presence. If that person knew the Lord, and you know the Lord, you will be reunited one day. Why? Because the person isn’t the shell that the person lives in. The person is the individual within the shell.
  When the body goes to the grave, the person goes to be with the Lord. That is why Christians have great hope at a time of death. That man (Pat) didn’t die. That dear woman didn’t die. That boy or girl or little baby didn’t die. He or she simply retired their old house and went to be with God. That is our hope. That is what sustains us when sorrow threatens to crush us. Paul says that we do not “sorrow as others who have no hope” (I Thessalonians 4:13).” We’re praying for you, Ed.

  Brokenness has many faces… this is a great note that really speaks to all of us who have been through extreme hardship. The thing is… as I’ve read through these comments…and my wife & I have learned on our Spiritual Journey – the greatest growth in our understanding of God has come through the healing through the lessons of brokenness.

  It really has given us a deeper grasp of what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 4:7-18,

  “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. 13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

  May the brokenness we experience lead us to understand – that He is always there!
  In His grip, Pastor Wayne

  526 days ago +48

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  Rhonda

  I have been a Christ-follower for 26 years. I spent the first twenty years drawing close to God, learning how to discipline myself for daily devotions and using my gifts for leading and teaching in a variety of ways in my local church. I was incredibly, unbelievably blessed with four wonderful children and the “perfect” home. I actually believed I had so many blessings because I was so devoted to God. And my devotion was real, but my understanding was limited.

  Seven years ago tragedy struck and left me reeling when my beloved sister unexpectedly took her own life on the day before Thanksgiving, November 24, 2004. I had never experienced hurt like the pain of that loss. It was a struggle to stay close to God because all I could feel was pain. All I could focus on was my disbelief and sorrow. I remember sitting in my living room all alone one day, and just crying and crying and, finally, begging God to help me, to somehow break through and comfort me. And I felt a little glimmer of His Presence breaking through.

  Not long after my sister died, I discovered that my husband was deeply immersed into pornography, a lifelong addiction which he had confessed to me two years before and repeatedly assured me was no longer a problem. I was shattered yet again. The entire illusion of the perfect family and perfect home was just that, an illusion.

  A year ago, as my husband became increasingly abusive, I had to finally accept that God was telling me He didn’t want me in that kind of a relationship. I fled with my then 15-year-old-daughter and became homeless for 9 months. And suddenly I found that my “Christian” friends were not really so
  “Christian” when an ugly reality had to be faced. I ended up with mono during that time. And truly had lost pretty much everything.

  Except God.

  There were days when I spent much of my time in my car. What a time of teaching that was for me! My eyes of compassion and heart for the world have been expanded beyond what I could have known. I did not realize how shallow I was. I see homeless people not as failures at life (shame on me for ever having that attitude) but as people who are struggling and who all have a story and who need my help. I see divorced people not as sinners who disgraced the church, but as human beings whom God loves and who also have a story and lives that are likely full of hurt.

  I have so much more to learn. But I have been healing and I’m waiting for God to move me onto whatever He has planned for me now. I’m still a Christ-follower, but I’m not the same one I was seven years ago.

  And seven years from now – who knows?

  526 days ago3 Replies +44

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    CathyM

    in reply to Rhonda

    I love that God loves us for who we are, but loves us too much to leave us that way. He will do what it takes to shape us into the men and women He created us to be. Sometimes it means breaking us to get us to the end of who we are, and to the beginning of who He destined for us to be.

    Glad to see your heart for our Abba Father has not diminished through the struggles life has placed in your path. You Go Girl!

    526 days ago

  • 

    Kirk Stevens

    in reply to Rhonda

    Rhonda, that is an awesome story. I thought those things only happened on the Hallmark channel. It is truly a wonderful story and you tell it so well. Not many stories move me, but your story is going to have me pondering all day, at the least. Can I say it one more time? That is a fantastic story!! I don’t even know what to say as I write this. Life can seem so cruel at times, you must have wondered why God would take your wonderful life and turn it upside down like that. If I may interject my opinion, I believe that God saw what was really going on behind the scenes and realized that the only way he could open your eyes is to shake up your life the way he did. Of course that is only an educated guess, but it sure opened your eyes, I would imagine.
    Many, many of us live in an illusion. It isn’t our fault of course, but I guess we would never learn reality until we experience it, as you surely did. I grew up in a “white bread”, “Leave it to Beaver” household. I only heard stories about the poor, the hungry, the broken homes, etc. When God brings reality upon us it feels like we are being punished and we plead for God to take it all away and put us back in our comfort zone.
    It sounds to me like you have experiences that need to shared. So many people believe they have problems that are insurmountable, then they read your story and those problems seem so insignificant. Please write more, write a book, make a movie or preach, but don’t keep it to yourself. I am anxiously waiting for your next chapter.

    525 days ago

  • 

    Conversation LeaderDebbie (Care Ministries)

    in reply to Rhonda

    You have allowed yourself, despite these very profound circumstances, to let God teach you and open your eyes beyond what you thought you could understand. As you’ve discovered, healing is a process and we are not the same, are we! Of course you are still a Christ-follower and who knows where you’ll be in seven years on this journey… I venture to guess that God is going to allow you the privilege of sharing your journey with others in a way that will draw them closer to Him as well. I agree with Cathy…. you go girl!!!

    525 days ago

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  Kirk Stevens

  I want to thank CathyM and Elizabeth for doing their best to answer my questions regarding how much we should sacrifice to help others, very good answers. There are so many people that need help that sometimes it feels very overwhelming. I start with my family, then my neighbors, and work outward from there. I enjoy doing it, but it isn’t a selfish joy, I love to see happy people, even if it means that I must suffer. Many of the things I do I keep to my self as to give God the glory, not me. But, I am just one person and I am tiring quickly.
  In answer to some of your questions, I have not joined a small group and, I have not read “When Helping Hurts”. I do look forward, however to getting that book, and reading it, of course. I haven’t joined a small group because people don’t seem to like the subjects I bring to the table. I get the “deer in the headlights” look when I ask questions that I feel need to be addressed, need to be discussed, openly.
  When someone tells me that God is in control of everything, I end up with a hundred questions. I fully understand that God controls our destiny, our circumstances and the outcomes, but that statement can’t end there. God made us in His image, He gave us rule over all living creatures on earth, does that not give us control of somethings? He gave us free will, He gave us the ability to reason, what do we do with these gifts? Do we just place ourselves in the back seat and ask God to take control because we can’t handle it? I am not trying to discredit the control thing, I am just trying to fully understand it. Why do we ask Jesus for guidance if we are willing to sit in the back seat and wait for Him to make all our decisions for us?

  525 days ago +46

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  Lynn

  I agree with Kirk. Some small groups are not willing to delve as deeply as I would like to go. I was also very disappointed by a small group, which I was a part of, a couple of years ago when my brother took his life by suicide. I was surprised, and disappointed, by the lack of concern and support by those people. I found support by the Care Ministry department and by Pastor Brad, which renewed my hope.

  525 days ago2 Replies +52

  • 

    Kirk Stevens

    in reply to Lynn

    Small groups is a wonderful concept that I hope continues. However, people, by nature, are searching for answers to their own personal problems. Most people, certainly not all people, don’t really want to solve YOUR problem, they want to solve THEIR problem, which is understandable, they are human too. Maybe the Care Ministries is a better place to find help to certain personal problems, rather than a small group. Maybe NorthRidge should make that point so people in need are better directed. We don’t need to try this, then try that, until we find the help we need. When we need help we need it now, not eventually. I would like to see a list of the small groups and what each one emphasizes in their discussions, this would make it much easier to decide where to go. Maybe NorthRidge already does this at the front desk, I don’t know, but it should be all over the place, everywhere you turn, because people in need don’t normally focus, or listen, very well, and they normally wont go to the front desk and say “I have a big problem and I need help”. They basically need someone to take their hand and say “we will help you”. Just offering the service isn’t enough.
    I would guess that most people come to church for more reasons than just to praise God. I would guess that most have problems and the one hour in church each weekend makes them feel better for the rest of the weekend, but, then comes Monday and the cycle starts all over again. They need answers to questions, like: where is God when I need Him, why isn’t He listening to my prayers, am I doing something wrong, is there something else I need to do, is my faith not strong enough, why in the world is God doing this to me?
    People go to church to get comforted, and I am not sure that a 45 minute talk that may, or may not, be relative to their problem, would change most of their lives. It is only a bandage, and I feel that the services that NorthRidge Church offers are important and necessary, especially for a church with such a large congregation, and, could change their lives.

    525 days ago

  • 

    Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

    in reply to Lynn

    Lynn and Kirk, I appreciate your insight and feelings about small groups and Care ministries. We are constantly looking for opportunities to improve our environments and appreciate the feedback.

    524 days ago

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  Conversation LeaderDebbie (Care Ministries)

  Lynn, I’m so sorry about your brother. I hope you have wonderful memories of him that will refresh your soul in the years ahead. Often wonderful, well meaning people who have not experienced something this profound, have a hard time communicating the care we’re looking for… when my son died, the people I leaned on the most were mothers who had lost children. I have dear friends and an amazing family, but these women were a lifeline for me because of their own journey with grief. My encouragement to you – continue to connect with others throught a Small Group and allow that journey to be a part of your overall spiritual growth. You never know how much you will teach others, just by your presence and involvement.

  525 days ago +45

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  Conversation LeaderWayne (Care Ministries)

  Rick Warren (Purpose Driven Life): “I think everybody has brokenness. There’s no doubt about that. We live in a fallen world. This is not heaven. Everybody has scars. Everybody is hurting somewhere, I guarantee you that. Everyone has a hidden hurt.”…

  With that said here was a good comment from a woman named Peggy which was connected to Rick’s quote about this subject:

  “Our life is full of brokenness – broken relationships, broken promises, and broken expectations. How can we live with that brokenness without becoming bitter and resentful except by returning again and again to God’s faithful presence in our lives? How do we live with our regrets and feelings of remorse?

  It is not by “me”, that I find healing from past experiences causing heartbreak and pain. It’s only through my faith, that I found comfort; bringing me back up to the surface to live my life-and to feel the joy in my heart, instead of defeat and brokenness.”

  “We all need to be broken, because we are all born unbroken. The more wounded we are, the more unbroken we become.” …Anne Murchison

  As you travel life’s journey, you can take the road from brokenness to wholeness. It is only after going through an experience of our own brokenness that our life can be offered as a rich blessing for others. I have found passing through these “Trials & Adversity” periods and their purpose in my life are only stepping-stones for facing truths and reality. If you have ever really been to that place then you know exactly what I am talking about. The pain of brokenness can be carried around for years or a lifetime.”

  That last comment is too true for millions of people. Sadly too many people are looking for quick fixes, microwave healing for issues that only & ultimately God can fix. Too many people end up getting bitter and not better because they look for their solutions in all the wrong places. As a result many use the excuse, “no one wants to help me” then they end up with no help feeling like there is no hope. That = the BIG LIE. If I have said this once, I’ve said it 1000 times – 1st look to Christ & His Word – connect with mature Christ Followers – don’t let this excuse be yours – “I’ve tried to find help at the church but no one will help me!!!” Quite often those saying this aren’t looking for help they’re looking for someone to “fix” their problem – but on their terms – on the way they think it should be fixed.

  My wife and I lost a baby girl – I held her lifeless body in my arms. I watched my Uncle Billy’s body lose its battle with MS for 24 years. Only to get a call to rush my Grandmother… his care giver for all those years into his hospital room – as he took his last breath. I was called by my neighbor whose husband in his late 20′s was dying from a brain tumor – and I went the room with his young wife & their family – to pray him into God’s care – just moments later he passed away. I held the hand of my friend John Lombardo who at the end of our last conversation & prayer – he took his last breath and died. I was called to get to the hospital to the bedside of my best friend – my grandmother. I looked into the her eyes…watching her struggle in an attempt to sit up – being on a vent to tell me she loved me… but she could not speak…just to close her eyes in frustration – and hours later she went to Jesus.

  The point is… I was taught years ago to seek Godly people – not to become bitter but become better – not letting people be my excuse to stay negative – or listen to voices like those of Job’s friends & wife – but ask God to work out John 16:33 in me… and He has never ever let me down. Brokenness has been a sweet journey to growing up in Jesus name!

  525 days ago1 Reply +52

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    Kirk Stevens

    in reply to Wayne (Care Ministries)

    You said it best, and it is true. People do look in the wrong places for solutions to their problems. However, society teaches us to do that, “go talk to a professional about that problem” we are told. As we know, there is only one real professional, Jesus. Also, many folks feel that they have a problem when it is merely an inconvenience. For instance, losing your job, that can seem devastating the day it happens, but you will surely find another, eventually. It may be a better job it may be a worse job, but we have to remember, when you look at life as a whole, it is only a job. Losing your job should not define you, it is just a circumstance, or an opportunity in some cases. As you said, everyone has problems, and they will never be problem-free. We just need to keep moving forward, don’t look back, and give Jesus the steering wheel. Everything will workout regardless of how devastating it may seem today.
    My uncle was losing his hair, and his dentist told him he needed dentures. He was 35 yrs old at the time and felt like his world was falling apart, until one day when he met a man who just had his leg amputated. My uncle was all of a sudden proud to show him his bald spot. The one legged man told him it didn’t bother him that he only had one leg because he knew a man that lost both of his legs.
    We need to treat life like it is just blink in ones eye, it is nothing compared to eternity. Some one once said to me, if you are born into wealth and grow up not knowing anything else, how could you possibly make it in the real world? I believe that that is how God sees our time on Earth. If we never experience hard times, or problems, during our Earthly visit, how could we expect make it in heaven? We wouldn’t understand compassion, love, or self discipline. We wouldn’t understand what God was all about. When God reshapes us through difficulties, he isn’t necessarily trying to make us better earthly people, I believe He’s getting us ready for His kingdom.

    525 days ago