PARENTING IS A VERB—CHOOSING TO BE A GREAT PARENT

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Parenting is a Verb—Choosing to be a Great Parent

Stepping Up

It’s fairly easy to have the title of “parent.” Men and women were told in Genesis 1:28 to be fruitful, and for the most part, people of the world have been.  This is in no way meant to make light of those who struggle in this area.  But, as a noun, it’s not that big of a deal.

What’s difficult for many people is when “parent” becomes a verb. The title is one thing but when it changes to the verb, that implies action on our part. We need to be involved and we need to do something. That’s hard work.

Think of it this way. There are some monarchs alive today who only are royalty because they have inherited a title. They don’t govern anything. They may do some ceremonial things, but in reality they are only people with a fancy title. King David in the Bible, however, was an active King. He led his soldiers into battle, he governed Israel and he passed on his kingdom to his son. His title led to action.

If we want to be good parents, we need to step up. We need to transition from the title of parent to the action verb.

Read Genesis 2:18

  • What does God tell Adam and Eve to do after “filling the earth and subduing it?”

Read Proverbs 1:8-9

  • What is the benefit of a parent taking an active role with their kids?

 

Train up a Child

Author Kevin Lehman writes, “Training up a child means putting time and energy into teaching a the child acceptable behavior.”

Time and energy don’t imply just having a title. They imply stepping up.

When we make a decision to be a great parent, we make a decision to pour teaching into our children. Our actions, our preferences, our commitments and just our life are one kind of teaching. Another is the time we spend gently and lovingly instructing them. It may not be formal, but it’s taking advantage of those ordinary, teachable moments.  Parents need to take every opportunity to influence their children. It will strongly contribute to their lives and decisions.

Read Proverbs 22:6

  • What does it mean to you to “train up a child in the way he should go?”

Read Hebrews 12:5-6

  • Does training involve discipline? How does it help children and parents grow and mature?

 

The Challenge

Parenting is an active responsibility. It’s not just a title. Parents are to impart wisdom and life teaching to their kids. From their maturing, struggles and suffering, parents can offer incredible insight and experience that will help the next generation get started right. Good and wise parents are those who are actively involved in their child’s life. They give guidance and direction. They make mistakes and ask for forgiveness. They are involved and that involvement is a gift to every child.

Read Proverbs 4:3-4

  • What can you be thankful for as you consider what your parents taught you?
  • What teaching, insights and wisdom are you offering your children?
  • What can you do today to begin, or continue to be, a wise parent and train up your children?

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  • Conversation LeaderAnita (Discovery Island)

    The experts say that to raise a child from birth to 18 is estimated to cost a parent over $225,000 which does not include the cost of college. That may be true but the investment of love and time is much greater and can never be measured by dollars and cents and it does not stop at when they turn 18! Culture influences our view of parenting but the Bible is clear on the role of parents. The primary role of every parent is to “teach” children to know their value to God and His plan for their life! As a parent we teach our kids many things, they learn to talk, walk, play and dress themselves when they are young, we teach them songs and their ABC’s, how to throw a ball or ride a bike as they grow. Then how to do homework and drive a car as they get older. But so much of our teaching is not direct, they learn by watching us live out our lives, they know what is valuable and important to us, they see our true character and often know more than we wish they did.

    When our boys were little I don’t think I understood how great a teacher my attitudes, words and actions were. Now that I am a parent of grown adults I understand so much more and value the time I have with my family and how quickly the seasons of parenting pass.

    572 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderMike (Outreach Ministries)

    I can still remember taking Kathy to dinner on August 10th the year my son turned 20. The dinner was a celebration of parents who by the grace of God had survived parenting two children through the teenage years. It felt a bit like we had graduated and we did not want to miss the moment. If you had interviewed us on that day we would have whole heartily agreed with the premise that parenting is a verb.

    Loving your children is not a passive on-again off-again experience; it is a 24/7 everyday lifetime experience. I love the proverb that says train them up in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it. There was an awful lot that we did not know about parenting and we spent a lot of time making it up as we went. Our parenting was anchored around the truth that God had entrusted these beautiful children into our care and our job and our highest call was to influence them into their own knowledge and relationship with Christ.

    We would have a lifetime of opportunities but the mission was always clear. Time and life happen every day and life will give you thousands of opportunities to deliver this message in hundreds of different ways. Consistently loving them in the good times and the bad, knowing that the best way I could love my kids was to love their mother, staying unified and not letting the little ones divide Mom and Dad, embracing the opportunities to model and the opportunities to talk, are just a few do the principles that helped us survive and lead to our little celebration. Now my kids are 31 and 28 and we have a two year old Grandson and I can tell you with joy that the proverb is true. Train them up while they are young and when they are old they will not depart from it.

    572 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderMike (Outreach Ministries)

    Listening to Brad yesterday triggered many parenting memories. I remember going to the Detroit Auto show about 10 days after my son turned nine years old. I remember seeing the sign “Kids 8 years old and under were free”. First thought he is only 10 days over 8 years old and this will save me me ten bucks. Second thought…..my son can read and he knows he is no longer 8. Slidng him into the Auto Show for free would have saved me 10 bucks but it would have cost me dearly when it came to teaching my son a lesson on integrity. Fortunately, I siezed the opportunity to make a $10 investment in my sons development and understanding of what it means to make decisions on the foundation of integrity. Have there been times in your life that you have faced this kind of crossroad?

    572 days ago1 Reply

    • Kay

      in reply to Mike (Outreach Ministries)

      When one of my sons was very young and we would be in a store, he used to like to put things in his pockets. More than once I had to take him back to the store to apologize and return the item he took. Thankfully it didn’t take too long for him to learn that taking things that didn’t belong to him was wrong.

      572 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderAnita (Discovery Island)

    My husband’s mom raised 6 children on her own; she has so many stories of how she survived while raising them alone. She had many difficult days when her kids were young and teenagers and often brought them to church kicking and screaming, knowing they needed to be a part of the church family too. Now that they are all adults they love and appreciate their mom for all she did. I know many parents who are raising their children without a spouse. Be encouraged, there will come a day that your kids will express their love and appreciation for you too!

    572 days ago

  • Kay

    My husband Dan and I have raised 2 sons, both happily married, and a daughter soon to graduate from college. Our faith was a critical component of parenting for us, and prayer was key (and still is!) From the very beginning we brought them to church and each accepted Christ into their hearts at an early age.

    When our children were young, we read Bible stories and prayed with them every night before bedtime. I remember regularly telling each one of them, even when they were too young to understand, how much Jesus loves them. As they grew older, our family had frequent discussions around the dinner table, with many teachable moments of how they could apply their faith to their everyday life experiences. Dan and I also made it a point for each of us to spend individual time with each child doing something fun (even a trip to McDonald’s can be fun!) building solid relationships, which made it easier for them to listen to us when we had something important to say. There were times when we were ready to react to a disobedience in one way, but after praying for guidance, God showed us a different approach to take, which was totally the best way!

    Parenting takes serious love and commitment, for your spouse, your children and especially for God.

    572 days ago1 Reply

    • Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

      in reply to Kay

      That is some great advice Kay. As a parent to a little guy right now, it’s sometimes difficult to keep in mind that the quantity time we are investing now gives us a voice in the critical moments when we really need him to hear us.

      569 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderMike (Outreach Ministries)

    My hats off to my wife for insisting that we do our best to make sure we had dinner as a family every night. During the sports and dance years it was a challenge and we had some late dinners but we did our best to have a time everyday where we were all together and communicating about our lives. With hind sight this was one of those prioirties that payed big dividends for our family. It is a target worth shooting for even though you can’t hit is 100% of the time.

    571 days ago

  • CathyM

    As parents we need to remember that our job never ends, our roles change, but we need to make sure that our opportunity for influence is not taken for granted. We can raise our children to love the Lord, but in the end the choice to follow Him is all theirs.

    571 days ago2 Replies

    • Conversation LeaderMike (Outreach Ministries)

      in reply to CathyM

      Well said CathyM.

      571 days ago

    • Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

      in reply to CathyM

      That’s a difficult thing to accept; that we cannot make the decision for them. However, it doesn’t make it less true.

      And your so right about the roles changing. I’ve had the opportunity to watch as parents try to hold onto a seat of influence that has shifted and, in so doing, miss out on the seat they are supposed to be moving to. On the other side though, I’ve seen parents that have masterfully navigated the changes and it is inspiring to say the least.

      569 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderAnita (Discovery Island)

    Parenting is the ultimate form of leadership, and defines family values by our actions.

    571 days ago1 Reply

    • Conversation LeaderMike (Outreach Ministries)

      in reply to Anita (Discovery Island)

      I can add that parenting is the ultimate form of Stewardship. We will one day be held to account for the way we used our influence to lead our children toward a reltionship with Christ.

      571 days ago

  • Jonda sewell

    I have an 18 yr old and a 6 yr old and I struggle with my ever changing relationship with my older son as I wanlt to treat him like an adult but it’s so surreal seeing him all grown up.

    571 days ago2 Replies

    • Conversation LeaderAnita (Discovery Island)

      in reply to Jonda sewell

      Jonda, it is a challenge for us parents to see our children grow. We will always be their parents and have opportunities to be an even greater influence in the lives of our kids as they transition from childhood to teenagers and then to adults.

      570 days ago

    • Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

      in reply to Jonda sewell

      My mom has always told me that no matter how old I get, I will always be her baby. Thankfully though, she doesn’t treat me like one. I think that tension is normal for a parent.

      569 days ago

  • Carol I. (Happy Grandma)

    Raising our two sons was the most important, enjoyable and meaningful times of our lives, and the reward is watching them use what we taught them to raise the wonderful grandsons they gave us. I thank God for giving us the opportunity to be parents and grandparents and I know our children and grandchildren were gifts from God. We are so richly blessed. All parents should cherish their children and thank God for sending them to them and giving them the opportunity to be parents.

    571 days ago2 Replies

    • Conversation LeaderAnita (Discovery Island)

      in reply to Carol I. (Happy Grandma)

      Thank you for sharing I pray that you will always see the many blessings God is providing for your family!

      570 days ago

    • Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

      in reply to Carol I. (Happy Grandma)

      God gave us our boy in a pretty remarkable way and that has definitely been one thing we have tried to keep in the forefront of our minds; he is a gift from a loving Father.

      569 days ago

  • Michael

    Raising a family is difficult at times and it is easy to get distracted by the urgency of the moment. Parents must remember that their children are NOT theirs. They are on loan from God and God has given them to you to teach them the lessons that God wants them to learn. Don’t let the urgency of the moment distract away the truth that they are precious gems in the crown of God.

    570 days ago2 Replies

    • Conversation LeaderAnita (Discovery Island)

      in reply to Michael

      Wise advice Michael!

      570 days ago

    • Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

      in reply to Michael

      Andy Stanley said that there is no lasting value to the URGENT things that we allow to take priority over the IMPORTANT things. So true, especially when we think of our children.

      569 days ago

  • Kyle Wilkinson

    I NEED HELP WITH BIBLE! Hey I have a question I was hoping somebody could answer. I am a college student and it took me awhile but I finally found the perfect Bible for me! It is the Life Application study Bible New Living Translation (NLT). It just came in the mail the other day and I am very excited to read it with my non christian girlfriend. I know there are Bible reading plans online but I am trying to decide what the best reading plan is. I want to go through the entire Bible. I hear reading it cover to cover is not the best way to do it so what plan is the best way? Please help me out!

    570 days ago3 Replies

    • Bernie R

      in reply to Kyle Wilkinson

      Kyle, there are some good suggestions here, http://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/Bible/Plans.htm?QueryStringSite=Zondervan

      570 days ago

    • Conversation LeaderAnita (Discovery Island)

      in reply to Kyle Wilkinson

      Kyle, it is great to hear that you are growing in your interest to know more about God and His Word. The on line versions and reading plans are an awesome way to read the Bible, I use YouVersion, which provides many options to choose from with descriptions of the plan to help you identify which one will work in your circumstances. Reading Scriptures with prayerful reflection is an awesome way to know more about God and grow in your personal relationship with Christ!

      570 days ago

    • Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

      in reply to Kyle Wilkinson

      I second Anita. YouVersion is REALLY great and free. I did the Essential 100 a while back and it was really great. Not a HUGE time commitment but very solid basis for a refresher course through the Bible.

      569 days ago

  • Bob Burnside

    Kyle,a friend at church suggested the Quest Study Bible,excellent,check it out

    570 days ago