BEING A GREAT MATE

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Being a Great Mate

The Game of Blame:

Relationships aren’t easy – especially the marriage relationship.  There’s something about a lifelong commitment and sharing space with another person that brings out all the stuff we manage to keep hidden from everybody else.  Arguments and disagreements erupt, each person does things that hurt the other person, and words are exchanged that can’t be unsaid.  The result is a brokenness that is difficult to navigate through and often results in the destruction of the relationship.

It is in conflict that we draw out one of our favorite cards to play – the blame card.  There is a deep-seated need that we all have to assign responsibility for the situation to anyone other than ourselves.  There is also a great amount of self-vindication to be had in reasoning that it was all someone else’s fault.  We can leave a conflict or sometimes even a marriage with a clean conscience as long as it wasn’t our problem that caused it.  Even if we accept that a small portion of it was on us, it’s good to know that it was the other person’s part that really played a critical role.

Here is the problem with blame: though it may make you feel better, your “feel” is the only thing that blame improves.  People don’t love more because blame was placed squarely on their shoulders.  Nobody ups the amount of respect they’re dishing out because everyone finally got to the bottom of whose fault it was.  All blame does is give us a place to point when it all falls apart and a convenient way to ignore the one thing that can actually make things better.

  • What is it inside of us that makes blame and fault such an important thing to determine?
  • Why do you think we tend to assign blame to others more than ourselves?
  • What do you think would change if we stopped focusing on fault and starting focusing on something else?

 

Your Piece of the Pie:

There is a great illustration out there that can help us see the solution to our problems much more clearly.  Think about a current argument, disagreement, or source of tension in your marriage or, if you’re not married, another significant relationship.  Now imagine that problem as a pie chart.  How much of it is your fault or can be attributed to you?  1%? 50%?  More? Less?  Could your attitude have been better?  Could you have exercised more grace or patience?  Were there words that you said that were unloving or unhelpful?  Whatever that portion is, that is the portion God has given you control over and the portion for which you are responsible.  It is also the portion that, if true reconciliation or harmony is going to be possible, must be your focus.  It’s more fun and feels safer to focus on the other piece of the pie, but it’s not within your power nor is it your ultimately responsibility.

Read Matthew 7:3-5

  • Answer this question with fearless honesty to yourself: what are some of the planks in your eye when it comes to your marriage?
  • What are some of the pieces of sawdust that you are focusing on instead?
  • What can you do to remove the plank from your own eye before trying to help your mate with the sawdust in his/hers?

 

Your Role to Play:

In every relationship we have a role to play and gift to give.  God calls each of us to reflect His character and to have the attitude of His Son as we continue to grow into who He has created us to be.  However, specifically in marriage, God has given us each a gift that is ours to give to the other person.  When we take time to learn what God has created us to be and what He has given us to share, we can become the best version of ourselves and, in the process, transform our marriages for the better.

Read Philippians 2:1-11

  • What does the right attitude look like?

Read Ephesians 5:21-33

  • What are some of the things God has given you with which to bless your husband/wife?
  • Can you think of other things within the marriage relationship that are really only yours to give?  (Example for men: you are the only LEGITIMATE source for romance in your spouses’ life!)

 

The Challenge:

God has such great plans for you and the person He is forming you to be.  One of the greatest tools He has is by which to shape and mold you is your marriage.  Whether it’s difficult or easy (right now), God want’s to leverage that other person to teach you about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.   The question is, are you allowing Him to shape you or are you too busy trying to shape someone else?

 

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  • Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

    Hello and welcome to The Conversation. This space is designed to help you take the message of he weekend into the rest of the week. Please enjoy the devotion on the left and take some time to share your insights, questions, comments, or anything else. We’d love to hear from you!

    572 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderMarijo (Care Ministries)

    At times, it’s easier to blame others because then we don’t have to look at ourselves which can be ugly to face and makes us accountable to change. We want things to be OUR way and we feel “entitled” and right, so we say things that can take the focus off of ourselves and point to another’s faults. Looking at ourselves and our relationships can require change and an expectation to reflect on how we have failed or hurt someone that we love. What part do I play in that? What did I say that caused him to react the way he did? At weddings, we often hear the verses from Ephesians 5 of how wives are to submit to their husbands and husbands are to love their wives as Christ love the church. Wow – what a tall order!

    As Brad mentioned this weekend, we need to be “all in” and are to put our spouses needs before our own in order to have a right relationship with each other. That doesn’t mean just when things are good or when my husband is meeting every need of mine. I know how much it frustrates my husband when I want him to “know” what I am feeling or thinking. After 28 years, why should I have to tell him? Shouldn’t he know by now? So I pout for a while and have my pity party, but the real root cause is I want my feelings recognized and for him to react a certain way so I feel important and cared about. Is that submitting or respecting him? Or is that focusing on my behavior and my demands in the moment?

    I need to really step back and sometimes “get out of the way” of my own self and sacrifice what I may want at the time. I need to let God do His work. I also have to communicate those needs and feelings to him; he is not a mind reader. Any marriage conference will tell you that! And I find the more respectful I am of him, the more he shows me love and cares for me – it’s a partnership. No one ever said marriage would be easy, but if we consider one another first and set aside our selfish desires, it can be a great journey!

    572 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderNick (Care Ministries Pastor)

    I met my wife, (Carol), in college and we kind of grew on each other. It was not instant infatuation, but a gradual friendship developed. Through the years that friendship became a dating relationship, and thus marriage. When we exchanged our vows over twenty-eight years ago, we had no clue what we were about to enter into. We had no pre-marriage preparation and the only good advice I heard was love is a feeling, marriage is a commitment and a relationship takes work. Well we grasped the first two concepts quite well, but we never thought it would take so much work. If we really were meant for each other, why do we have to work so hard?

    Well I found through this journey that marriage is really a mirror, it forces you to look at yourself, and what we saw were two people trying to change, control, and fill our needs through each other. Through the bumps and trials of the early years we realized that once our selfish insecurities could be fully transferred in trusting Jesus Christ for our identity and significance, we could see our lives and relationship through a different lens, the eyes and heart of Christ.

    I am no longer just married to my best friend, but she is my intimate soul mate! This transforming experience has been my motivation and passion in guiding couples to experience God’s design for a vibrant fulfilling marriage! I look forward to our communication!

    572 days ago

  • Angil Tarach-Ritchey

    You never know how God works! Brought my Mom, who is visiting from NC, to service yesterday. I wished it was another topic since she is divorced. Her and her ex-husband are dancing around getting back together, so I thought maybe she would be a little interested. Well….she wrote notes and when service was over she said I really enjoyed that and bought the DVD to watch with her ex-husband.
    She is Catholic and I wanted to talk to her about whether she ever asked Jesus in her heart as her Lord and Savior during this visit. I have a feeling she did yesterday but now I have the open opportunity to ask her whether she made that commitment yesterday and if not I pray I can be used by the Lord to help her ask for forgiveness and ask Jesus into her life as her Lord and Savior.
    I prayed before her visit that she would go to church with us and be saved during her visit here. God has opened the door for her and I’m very hopeful she will step through and become a committed follower.
    Praise the Lord for a church that is relevant and makes such a difference in the lives of so many. Thank you to Brad and all the leaders and volunteers who do such a great job! I’ll update you on the outcome of my conversation with my Mom. Please pray she has already asked Jesus to come into her life and if not that the Lord will give me the wisdom and words to guide her.

    572 days ago2 Replies

    • Nicole Cripps

      in reply to Angil Tarach-Ritchey

      This is so inspiring! Thank you for sharing!

      572 days ago

    • Tiffani Clevenger

      in reply to Angil Tarach-Ritchey

      I will be praying for you and your mom Angil. Thank you for sharing<3

      571 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderNick (Care Ministries Pastor)

    Angil, Wow! I am so proud of you for taking the courage and inviting your mom to services! God is most definitely at work in pursuing you mom’s heart and life! I will be praying! Keep us in touch! That made my day!

    572 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderMarijo (Care Ministries)

    How awesome to see how God touched your mother’s heart, Angil! a great encouragement to all of us to respond to that “nudge’ when God is prompting us to be bold and invite someone to church, and then we can watch Him at work as He transforms a life – thanks for sharing!

    572 days ago

  • Mike Johnson

    My wife and I through our 21 years together have played all the horrible marriage games. We’ve played the “you promised game” ” the blame game” “the he said she said game”"the who can shout loudest game”" the………..(fill in the blank) game”Some will read this and say,” Aaaa, I would have been playing the I’m outta here game if I had to deal with all that!” Don’t think that didn’t come across both our minds during the heat of the situation sometimes.So what has kept us together all this time? Well I’ll tell ya.1. Commitment.A firm commitment to one another and to our promise to God to do all we can to make this thing work for life. 2. Knowing the true heart of the person I am with. In those occasions where things weren’t so great between us, or things were said,or done, I knew that those things were not the person that I married. But a product of a sinful world and its influence.The one I married was so much better than that junk, and was worth fighting for.3.A realization from the get go that neither of us are perfect.That we will make mistakes and to not be surprised by them.4.A commitment to forgive.No matter how bad an arguement or battle may have gotten, We always stepped back, took a deep breath,reconciled, and firmly forgave one another.We knew we could not grow together if a grudge or bitterness was present.We made these some of the foundation stone our marriage has been built on. And we found with these we have weathered many storms.

    572 days ago1 Reply

    • Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

      in reply to Mike Johnson

      Such great advice Mike. Thanks for sharing it man!

      572 days ago

  • Kirk Stevens

    My wife and I have been married 40 years, that is hard to imagine since I am only 39. Seriously, we have been together since she was nineteen & I was 21. We have (4) children, we have been through great times and some hardships. We started attending NRC in 2000 & the first talk we heard from Brad was “The Bible, what if it is true?” An excellent talk. That talk kept us coming back every weekend for the last ten years. NRC has taught us to look at life much differently since then. Don’t take this wrong, our marriage was very good prior to attending NRC, although, NRC has improved an already great relationship. We look at things less selfishly, we put others before ourselves much more frequently, and we enjoy it now because it used to feel like an obligation, now it feels like the right thing to do. We use the word “I” less and the word “we” much more.

    572 days ago1 Reply

    • Nicole Cripps

      in reply to Kirk Stevens

      Love the ‘we’ part- it takes the stress out of things knowing that it’s not all on one person to accomplish. Thanks for sharing this! : )

      572 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderNick (Care Ministries Pastor)

    Kirk, congrats on the 40 years! Interdependency the “we” in marriage is so important and healthy! There seems to be a natural drift toward independency “I” and “dependency” “I need you to be someone” in relationships. Ever thought about being a part of the marriage care team at NorthRidge?

    572 days ago1 Reply

    • Kirk Stevens

      in reply to Nick (Care Ministries Pastor)

      Yes, I have thought about it. However, as we have heard a thousand times, I am so busy trying to make a living during these disastrous economic times, I would be afraid that I couldn’t give 100%, and I am the type that would insist on 100% focus. However, I will continue to consider it. Thank you.

      572 days ago

  • Nicole Cripps

    Ok, newbie here! Ben and I just got married in July and I wanted to give a shout out to the Care Ministries Team (specifically Nick Phillips, Debbie Bennett and our mentors Fred & Linda Tiberi) who transformed our relationship by teaching us how to communicate. There is nothing better than knowing you belong to a church that will accept you as broken, messed up and confused …and is willing to patiently guide you to sanity. Ben and I dated 5 years before marrying and, though we were very much in love, the first 4 years were spent not knowing how to communicate that we valued each other. (SO frustrating!) It was a mess- and I was bitter. It took a tremendous amount of work- but I can’t even begin to explain the way it has changed how we value each other and the Lord. I have no idea the spiritual battles that lay ahead, but our confidence in getting thru life together with God has never been stronger. I get teared up every time I think of what a blessing this team has been to us. When we talked to them we could let all of our walls down and never felt a single ounce of judgment. (And I had a lot that could be judged!)

    I know that this is meant for someone out there- even just to hold onto for future reference. I didn’t know this resource was out there and I wish I would have used it sooner. There is abundant peace and ‘functioning communication’ in our relationship now because of the work God is doing thru Care Ministries.
    Wish us luck- I’m hoping on 60+ years with the love of my life :)

    572 days ago2 Replies

    • Kirk Stevens

      in reply to Nicole Cripps

      Hoping? It sounds to me like you are on your way, no luck required. You have taken the most important steps a married couple could take. Just keep renewing your relationship, keep it crisp and in the forefront of your lives.
      The best way to communicate is by listening. After all, why did God give us two ears, and just one mouth? And the best way to let your spouse know that you are listening is with your eyes. Focus on what your spouse is saying with interest. Your eye contact will show your sincerity. Good luck, even though you probably wont need it, and welcome to the forum.

      572 days ago

    • Tiffani Clevenger

      in reply to Nicole Cripps

      So glad to hear this!…We always find God when we look for Him and His guidance…my heart is smiling~

      571 days ago

  • Mike Enright

    just a great read thx

    572 days ago

  • Ronald Ponkey, Wedding Photographer

    God in my Personal and Professional life is so important especially when it comes to making professional decisions. Last weekend I had two Weddings and a Bridal Show…..and I asked God to be with me and guide me as he guided Noah, Samson, David, Moses, etc….Wisdom comes from God….I had a great weekend….even booked a bridal couple from the Bridal Show…..I need God in my life 24 hours per day….that is where I find my peace….

    572 days ago1 Reply

    • Tiffani Clevenger

      in reply to Ronald Ponkey, Wedding Photographer

      Love it Ronald…I’m with ya,…Gotta have Jesus all day:)

      571 days ago

  • Melanie Lefort

    Always something to be learned from those at Northridge Church. Each week I feel the service has been written specifically for me.

    572 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderNick (Care Ministries Pastor)

    Melanie, we follow you around during the week to get our topics for the talks. Ha! In all seriousness, the speakers are sensitive to take God’s Word which speaks always about our relationship with God and our relationship with each other in a relevant practical way! The talks are designed to always incorporate the human experience, so it always feels that is is written with our name on it, and of course the Holy Spirit is always at work to help us understand God, and to prompt us to be more like Christ! I love your heart to learn and allow God to transform you each week!

    571 days ago

  • James Benson

    Well I’ve only been attending the Saline/ Ann Arbor campus for a few months now and it’s changed my life for the better! After walking away from church 13 years ago in a hurtful experience, I think I finally found a home at NR. After hearing the messages over the past few months and feeling as if every word was written for me I realized the Devil was working hard to keep me away from church. The bitterness I had for the church was really me focusing everyone else and their problems instead of the huge flaws I had in my own life! Long story short I’ve recommitted my life to Christ and plan to keep myself rooted in the Lord. Thank the Lord for 2nd, 3rd, and 500th chances through his grace and mercy.

    571 days ago2 Replies

    • Nicole Cripps

      in reply to James Benson

      This is such a cool testimony- thank you for sharing!

      571 days ago

    • Tiffani Clevenger

      in reply to James Benson

      Couldn’t have said it better myself!…and imagine all the great ways He is planning on using you to show His love to others…so amazing!

      571 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderMarijo (Care Ministries)

    Welcome to NorthRidge, James! Love your honesty and sharing about your previous church experiences. Sometimes we forget that the church is made up of flawed, imperfect people and we allow those relationships and our expectations of them to cloud the real Truth and God’s perfect love for us. Thankful the devil has lost another battle and you are re-starting your journey here with the NRC family!

    571 days ago

  • Claudine

    I have really enjoyed this talk of Proverbs from Brad. I, too, feel like many of the messages are directly to me (this one in particular). I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart and married for a combination of 22 years. During the marriage we had faced just about every huge challenge a marriage can face; death of both my in-laws, financial issues, being too devoted to work, fertility issues which lead to miscarriages, the adoption of two children, and finally my husband’s addiction to alcohol which spun out of control (destroying my marriage). My ex-husband turned his back on God, he was angry at him for the pain he (we) went through; yelling at God, resenting Him, not wanting to rely on God for anything.

    I thought I had all those qualities a marriage should have, which Brad talked about; I set the priorities, set the goals, and was supportive and nurturing in the relationship. I worked very hard at keeping the perfect marriage together (but finally it became obvious it was only me working on those qualities, my ex-husband just nodded his head, and never really got involved). During for the last two years of our marriage the commitment to each other dissolved into feeding this dysfunction of unhealthy need, which masked this fear of what would happen if we didn’t have each other. My ex-husband was bitter, depressed, and the alcohol was destroying our lives, finances, and every relationship. We lost our home, vehicles, and general security, not to mention he was angry and yelling at me and the kids to a point where he became verbally abusive, daily. We lost touch with our close friends and family to hide the amount of alcohol he consumed and how destructive it became. After tons of consideration and hourly prayers, I overcame the fear and finally filed for divorce. (If you think I’m not following Brads talk about choosing a good mate… hold on a moment…) This was not God’s Plan for marriage for me. I knew it. God didn’t want my family destroyed, but my ex-husband had completely turned his back on God. He hated God for the pain we experienced. I couldn’t have my children see that kind of misery, disrespect, and pure surrender to an addiction anymore.

    I left the marriage and felt alone, but was in continuous prayer with God. I, surprisingly, got a lot of support from family and friends who were eager to reconnect with me and my children. One friend in particular, John, who I had gone to high school with, reached out to me (seemingly out of the blue) and reminded me I am not alone with God, and to trust and lean on God. I was in fact leaning on God, and it was working. God was there in every aspect of my life. Life was difficult, but getting better.

    That friendship with John began to blossom into something more substantial. It was amazing. We talked and found we were on the same pages about priorities, goals, ambitions, life dreams, and our children as a priority. We both trust God first in our lives. We got closer and have been building a lasting relationship of trust, friendship, companionship, and love. We have been using Brad’s talk as a checklist of where we are today, in our relationship. We have been asking each other the tough questions about faith, love, and our relationship with God. We build each other up and grow from the positive feedback we get from each other. We are true companions walking hand in hand. We are thrilled to plan and look toward the future for more of life together.

    We are planning our wedding date for July 18th, 2011, and I could not be more excited to say “I do”. This will NOT be the immature kind of “I do…” willingly loose myself in you, give up my faith, and belief system to sacrifice life for your happiness. This is the “I do…” commit to share life my life with you. “I do…“ intend to build you up and see you grow in life, faith, and love, while I, too, experience life and grow in faith, holding your hand… until death do us part.

    571 days ago1 Reply

    • Nicole Cripps

      in reply to Claudine

      This last paragraph got me all ‘teared up’- how beautiful!

      571 days ago

  • Allie

    Wow, well I’m only 18, and so is my boyfriend, and we’ve been dating for over two years now- brought together by our love for God- and it seems we play the blame game wrong. Instead of pointing the finger at someone else, we point the finger at ourselves and try to assume all responsibility for the relationship struggle we are discussing. And we’ve had our share of fights- stupid ones- but fights none the less, and it always ends up we spend so much time trying to take blame from the other and finally come to the conclusion it was shared and equally both our faults. I’m not exactly sure why that is, but even as young as I am, I believe we both work to keep the wonderful relationship we have going. About a month ago, we were discussing something about how he had moved away, and we weren’t sure what was going to happen with “us” and he went back to when he promised me that regardless of feelings or circumstances, he would always love me. And although we are young, and who really knows what the future holds, that promise will always be with me because that is true, real, commited love.

    571 days ago2 Replies

    • Nicole Cripps

      in reply to Allie

      You are wise to be so focused on God in your relationship. That is something to be proud of! Things of the world can be so unsure and changing- but He is our dependable Rock. ;)

      570 days ago

    • Conversation LeaderMarijo (Care Ministries)

      in reply to Allie

      so wonderful to hear from your tender, young heart, Allie! God is working in your life and when you keep Him the focus and center of your relationships, He will guide you and “grow” you into the woman He has designed you to me. It’s so encouraging to hear that you and your boyfriend are seeking God in all things. Keep up the communication and honesty with one another!

      569 days ago

  • Gloria

    Before my husband and I got married, we were already Christians and active in the church. On top of how “I” thought our marriage should look, I felt there was this extra bench mark (as Christians) we should meet. My unrealistic expectations quickly began to show through criticism of my husband. How he should be, why it was his fault we weren’t this or that… taking my role as “help mate” way out of context to the extreme of being his holy spirit.

    We stepped in and out of the blame game for years until a few events brought us to brokenness. It was then we had to take a hard look at ourselves which was a turning point for us. For me, I had to finally admit that it was much easier to blame my husband for our problems, blowing all respect out of the water… than to take any responsibility I had. (Matt 7:3-5)

    Thirty two years later… We have worked really hard to let each other know (and have shown) that we truly have each other’s best interest at heart. It’s been a rebuilding effort and what we actively strive to do. Now when things happen, we try to look more honestly at what’s really going on, be more open about our part and speak with grace into each other’s life. We’re not perfect, we haven’t arrived, we still mess up… but we better understand each other and that God is still shaping us.

    Thank you Brad for allowing God to work through and lead you in this series. We have much to learn from the book of Proverbs.

    569 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderMarijo (Care Ministries)

    Marriage can be hard work, at times, but is so worth it. It’s an ongoing process of learning about one another and, even more, taking a hard look at ourselves. Staying committed to each other during the hard times allows us to enjoy and be content during the good times as we look back on the journey together. For those who are struggling or need to “tweak” some areas in your relationship, we offer support groups and marriage care mentoring here at NorthRidge so you don’t have to do this alone! Thank you for sharing your story, Gloria and how God has brought you to a sweet spot of caring for each other.

    569 days ago

  • Simply Unlovable

    I guess I am the anomaly. I am the one blamed, and I am not sure why other than to say that I am just plain unlovable. I don’t have friends, really. I have “associations” with people I find reprehensible, but I continue a relationship as to not hurt them rather than have the strength to say “You are not a person I like.” Perhaps that is all I feel I deserve. My parents have rejected me over and over, but they don’t see it that way. My brothers, ditto. They call me “pious” and mock me because I have morals and values while they do not uphold those. My husband, well, I think he is hanging in there for the kids because I don’t think he respects me and I know that I am not his priority. I thought I was happy, but it’s because I convinced myself of that because I wanted to be. When I take a good hard look, I see that I am just floating along. Perhaps it was better to be delusional, because now all I do it blame myself and wonder why I am completely unlovable.

    568 days ago1 Reply

    • Bernie R

      in reply to Simply Unlovable

      Wow, my heart just broke when I read your post. I am sure that Marijo and Nick are going to have some great advice for you, I am sure they are going to recommend the Care Ministry that is available to you I would highly recommend that you follow their advice, it is an amazing ministry that has helped so many people. But I just wanted to tell you that you are completely wrong when you say that you are unlovable, you have a Savior that loved you so much that He gave His life for you, no matter how other broken people treat you, He loves you and is always there for you! “We love Him because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:9-10, You will be in my families prayers! Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

      568 days ago

  • Conversation LeaderMarijo (Care Ministries)

    We need to find our significance from Christ ONLY – not from others and especially not from those who hurt us. Don’t let the lies that people tell you or how they mistreat or de-value you to define who you are. You are a child of the King Most High! He doesn’t make junk and He loves us just the way we are – full of flaws and messed up and imperfect. Only He can restore us and redeem us and bring us to beauty out of ashes. I hope you will contact Care Ministries and let us come alongside you and connect you to individual mentors and/or groups that will love on you right where you are and show you eternal value and self-worth through Christ’s eyes! Read the book “Search for Significance” by Robert McGee – it will change your life ! Look forward to connecting with you -

    568 days ago

  • TMS

    My wife and I joined our first small group on Wednesday. Let me say that it was an amazing feeling to be quickly accepted and included by Christ followers. Our group is very warm and encouraging in faith building and fellowship. We’re excited to see what new He has in store for us.

    God works in such amazing ways. A few years ago, I read a verse during service that I had read many times in my life but for the first time it really talked to my heart. I believe it is a daily reminder of what God wants for us and how we actually achieve it. Mathew 6:33 – Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Please don’t get me wrong, taking that step of faith is all too often scarey, but as true progression happens it becomes the most rewarding, peaceful, and loving feeling that I have ever experienced.

    Thank you NRC for providing a great atmosphere of Faith, Hope, and Love. For the greatest is LOVE

    568 days ago

  • Conversation Leaderdbennett

    We are so fortunate at NorthRidge to be able to have support for couples prior to stepping into marriage and once married, awesome marriage care when needed whether through couple mentoring or an awesome Marriage Builders Class in our support/recovery group ministry called LifeShare. Often, people make the mistake to wait till their relationship issues are at a ’10′ before seeking wisdom and counsel in finding solutions to geting their lives and marriage back on track. We need to keep in mind that only ‘healthy’ individuals can create a healthy relationship… before or after marriage… and there are times iin life when we need help and resources to have the marriage God designed for us…..and what does that look like, you ask? in my 37 years of marriage through many life circumstances, God reminds me that He has created the official playbook for what a healthy marriage can and should look like. Marriage is such an amazing gift… Thanks Brad for shedding light on what a healthy marriage looks like from God’s blueprint. Next step….the Parenting talk!!

    568 days ago