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  Conversation LeaderJosh (Social Media Pastor)

  Hello, and welcome to The Conversation. This space is designed to help you take the message of the weekend with you all week long! Please enjoy the devotion over there on the left and, if you like, take some time to add your thoughts over here. We’d love to hear from you!

  584 days ago +43

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  Conversation LeaderCarrie (Discovery Island)

  We make choices everyday. We choose to get out of bed, eat breakfast, brush our teeth, go to work, and the list goes on. Some of those choices we take great thought on how we will accomplish them. Let’s just take brushing our teeth for instance. We know what toothpaste we like and we usually won’t budge on what we buy. We might even wait for the right coupon to come in the newspaper so we can get it even cheaper than we planned. We might brush the top teeth first and then the bottom, or maybe we brush the back and then the front. Okay, I know, gross right!?! But, here is my point. We take time to think about such things. We make it our practice. Why is it that when we have to make life long choices, we take them lightly? We find someone we think is compatible to us and then we move forward.

  Sometimes we don’t look at their choices in life and see how that will affect us along the way, or maybe we choose not to see the warning signs about this person. I know, not everyone does this. But, in this day and age, people take the choice of their life partner way to lightly. There always seems to be an out. Divorce is an easy way to say, “Oh shoot, this is not working out, so I’m hitting the road.” Trust me, I know that marriage is tough. It’s not easy to work hard at it and make the choices to life that partnership to the fullest. I can be sure of this. God entrusted that relationship to each of us. We must choose to guard it and guide it in alliance with His word and His plans.

  584 days ago1 Reply +47

  • 

    Kirk Stevens

    in reply to Carrie (Discovery Island)

    Well put Carrie, I think young people today look at marriage the same way they look at dating, if it starts getting a little stale, just move on, rather than trying to fix it. I don’t believe marriage is necessarily hard, however. I don’t know what I would do without it. Life is much much better sharing it with a spouse. Marriage doesn’t have to be difficult. We make it difficult because we want our cake & eat it too. Many married couple want their freedom as when they were single and be married at the same time. Just like being a believer, we become a new person when we marry. You have to re-align your friendships, give up some privacy, share your time everyday and sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice joyfully. If those things sound hard, maybe that person shouldn’t be married. Friendships could be hard also, but what would we do without them? We would be very lonely for sure. Marriage shouldn’t be a trial & error situation, it’s a commitment. People should consult their parents, God, and others for their objective opinions. God will direct you in the right direction, but when you feel that you are in love, your focus gets blurred and you begin listening to your mind which can be very deceiving. Like you mentioned Carrie, When our focus is blurred we have a tendency to overlook and/or make excuses for the other person’s faults.
    My bottom line here is that marriage doesn’t have to be tough, or hard. If a person goes into marriage correctly it can be fantastic, joyful and absolute bliss. But, if words like commitment, sacrifice and sharing upset you, don’t attempt it.

    580 days ago

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  Ronald Ponkey

  Today is a beautiful day to serve the Lord and I thank Him for the skill he has blessed me with to serve His people…what more can I say? Thank you Lord.

  584 days ago2 Replies +41

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    Conversation LeaderCarrie (Discovery Island)

    in reply to Ronald Ponkey

    Great look on your week to come Ronald!

    584 days ago

  • 

    Conversation LeaderEd (Strategic Advancement)

    in reply to Ronald Ponkey

    Awesome Ronald! If I may ask, what is it about serving others that gives you life/joy?

    583 days ago

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  Mike Johnson

  When my wife and I first met neither of us were serving Christ, let alone saved. We both were pretty self absorbed and chose each other for what we could get out of the relationship. When we finally married I think we both kind of realized that we chose to get married for the wrong reasons. We had no real biblical instruction or Christian back ground to help guide us. BUT,thank God, we both had a stedfast commitment to our vows and one another. Though times were tough often in the beginning years, and I am sure that we both wanted to bolt at times, We knew in our hearts that we made a pledge to one another to make this work.Years later I was saved and I renewed my plledge not only to her but to my God that I would stick to it no matter what comes our way. When she came to the Lord, she did the same. Today, I love my wife more than ever. And I know she loves me also. But without that total moral commitment to one another at the beginning and our commitment to God to follow our pledge to him I believe we would have split long ago. We have been together since 1990, And see ourselves growing old together for life. I said all that to say this. If you have already made the plunge, don’t give up hope. Honor your pledge you made to your spouse, and your God no matter what.Be diligent, do what it takes to make iit work,and God will do what it takes to help you out. You keep your word and he will keep his.

  584 days ago2 Replies +35

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    Conversation LeaderCarrie (Discovery Island)

    in reply to Mike Johnson

    This is such a great testemony to the truths that we just read and to what we heard this weekend! Thank you for staying the long haul!!

    584 days ago

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    Conversation LeaderEd (Strategic Advancement)

    in reply to Mike Johnson

    Thank Mike for keeping it real! What a testimony of persistent grace. Even when you didn’t know you were being pursued by God’s grace, he was yet following you. Thanks for opening your heart, modeling it to the love of your life, and passionately pursuing truth.

    583 days ago

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  Kate

  Man, Brad hit this topic outta the park! I especially loved the part about being READY to be in a relationship. I’m 22 and so many people around my age have SO much going on in their lives already. It’s a pivotal time to figure out where God is leading and what he wants for your life long term… adding another person into the mix, I feel, makes it a little more difficult to discern His voice. While it works for some of my friends, some relationships I just don’t see the point yet. In my opinion, it is truly worth the wait to enter into a relationship until you are fully ready to care for and invest in another persons life. The whole talk was so beautifully put together… I’m totally gonna listen to it again!

  584 days ago3 Replies +41

  • 

    Jacquie

    in reply to Kate

    Hi Kate!
    I’m 22 also and I too loved the part about being ready. I think also that I really needed to hear to be patience. So far I’ve talked to 4 people about this talk and encouraged them to listen to it because I valued what he said SOOO much. I most definitely will listen to it again.

    584 days ago

  • 

    Conversation LeaderCarrie (Discovery Island)

    in reply to Kate

    You ladies are so right! Marriage has to be selfless and if God is calling you to something else right now and it’s focus is on you then listen to Him and do what he calls. When you are ready and He is ready to show you the future, the time will be in His time and you will be ready!

    583 days ago

  • 

    Conversation LeaderEd (Strategic Advancement)

    in reply to Kate

    With so many influences, self help books…friends…Facebook…Hollywood…socieities norms, there is so much “static”. To stop and take a good look at who we are and what we bring to the table is simply invaluable. Kate, you are asking the right questions at the right time!

    583 days ago

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  Mike Johnson

  The wonderful thing about the way Brad presented this talk is that it was truly based on all of Gods biblical principles. I know that he always has and always does that. The thing is, is that I know that there are those out there that were thinking, “man! if I have to jump through this many hoops to catch the right guy/girl, I might as well become a monk!” But that is defineately NOT so! By following the Lords instruction, guidance and word, you will be blessed for your obedience in your search. Hes not going to say, “do it this way,” then leave you hanging. Matter of fact I believe you will be blessed with a better partner than you may have thought you could recceive. Stay true to what Brad taught in Gods word and it will result in Gods blessing, help and intervention.

  584 days ago2 Replies +53

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    Conversation LeaderCarrie (Discovery Island)

    in reply to Mike Johnson

    Mike, this is good insight! His word is our path and I am glad He gives it to us to safeguard us from heading on a different path that leads to a life that might give someone the fulfillment they could have.

    583 days ago

  • 

    Conversation LeaderEd (Strategic Advancement)

    in reply to Mike Johnson

    Agreed Mike. It is interesting how we often don’t take the time to think through the most important decisions we face. The reality is what God sees often doesn’t match our lens…or at times, preferences. It is precisely that unconditional love (and discipline) we need to choose wisely. Thanks for your post!

    583 days ago

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  Conversation LeaderEd (Strategic Advancement)

  Good morning everyone! Carrie and I are looking foward to this week’s “Conversation”. Love and relationships are probably two of the most discussed (and misunderstood) topics in our lives. My wife, Marcia, and I just celebrated our 16 year of marriage. I often used to say that I didn’t want to listen to any counsel from a couple that hadn’t been married at least ten years. There is something about experience…that has the possibility of producing prudent thought.

  But let’s be honest, thinking about doing the right thing is the easy part. Actually stopping, praying, reflecting, then taking intentional action…now that is the where the battle truly begins.

  You may remember the great romantic comedy, Jerry Majuire, from 1996. In it, Tom Cruise plays an egotistical sports agent who finds a moral conscience just as he hits rock bottom. There is a scene in the movie that is the ultimate of cheesy, when he looks at Dorothy, played by Renee’ Zellweger) and utters the words…”You complete me”. Cue the music, the sniffles from the ladies in the audience…and the “REALLY?” response from every man in America. The truth is, nobody “completes” us…only Christ can. But, we continue the search…we believe the myth, we passionately pursue the lie.

  Proverbs 3:5-6 says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths. This is especially true in choosing a mate. Knowledge is good, but wisdom is even better. Knowledge will help you pass tests and accomplish tasks, but wisdom will guide you through the most important and difficult decisions in life.

  The remainder of the week, I’ll look at four areas that over the years have challenged me, as well as any person I’ve worked with in the area relationships. They are 1. What we think about? What we talk about? How much time we spend together? And finally, the issue of “touch”. Not having wisdom in either one of these areas has caused tremendous pain, confusion, and heartache for many. Later today, I’ll give my first post on being wise about what we “think” about in relation to a potential mate.

  Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

  Ed Ollie

  583 days ago +34

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  Kirk Stevens

  Love is a fantastic thing. I know that sounds goofy and so easy to say, but it’s true. We are the only creatures on this earth that experience that feeling because we were created in God’s image. I have been married for 40 years, I got married when I was 3 yrs. old. Seriously, I was married quite young. My wife and I were believers since our teenage years, and that is the glue that held us together. When you decide at an early age to commit to Christ you learn what commitment takes and that makes marriage so much easier. Commitment is the key word. Committing to someone means putting their needs ahead of yours, that is very hard to do, especially in today’s society.
  I love being married and sharing my life with my wife. We have had rough times like anyone else but, we understand what commitment means, “sacrifice with a smile”, it doesn’t mean i’ll sacrificethis time and now you owe me one. it is exactly the same way with Christ, you have to want to sacrifice with delight. Whether we admit it or not, everyone wants the stress removed from their lives. Stress is self induced, no one can make you stressed without your permission, you have to allow it. A commitment to Christ, and/or a spouse, can relieve all your stress if you are willing to sacrifice with delight. I thought Brad should have added the part in “Gone with the Wind” where Olivia De Havilland sacrificed her love for Ashley for Scarlet’s happiness. Of course she was lied to and deceived, but her motive was correct. She was willing to sacrifice her happiness to make others happy.
  The bottom line here is, the chances of meeting your perfect soul-mate where you will walk out into a field of daisies singing a happy song, probably wont happen. Whom ever you and God agree on will certainly take a lot of work. Work usually translates into sacrifice, but it can’t be one sided, both have to be willing to sacrifice. Christ sacrificed for us didn’t he? I believe he did!

  583 days ago2 Replies +44

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    Conversation LeaderCarrie (Discovery Island)

    in reply to Kirk Stevens

    Thanks Kirk for sharing your story!

    583 days ago

  • 

    Conversation LeaderEd (Strategic Advancement)

    in reply to Kirk Stevens

    LOL…good stuf Kirk. I’m laughing at the Gone with the Wind addition:). I love the comment you made, “willing to sacrifice with delight”. It is precisely that conflict that often keeps us from experiencing God’s best. It is often in the most difficult times of choosing a mate, that we learn most from them. Who we are in crisis often reveals our deepest, inner-most character.

    583 days ago

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  Renee

  I think we all agree that outside of a person’s choice to follow God, the single most important decision you can make is deciding who to marry.
  I once heard a speaker talk about the eight “don’ts” to consider when choosing your spouse, (I took good notes:) It is not a wise choice to marry when you are too young, too hurried, too eager, too ready to please someone, too unfamiliar with or too different to the prospective spouse, too inclined to make unrealistic expectations, or too unhealthy psychologically. These are really important issues that can be used as a guideline when making your key decision.

  583 days ago +43

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  Conversation LeaderCarrie (Discovery Island)

  I wish I had someone to pour into me in a way like this to ensure my choices on a daily basis were keeping me on the right track. If you are in a relationship with someone and feel that God is putting you guys together for a lifetime, please make sure that you take advantage of our pre-marriage counseling here at NorthRidge Church. It is a gift that you can’t have imagined living without!

  583 days ago +44

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  Candice

  I’m 27 and TRYING to get into the mix of dating with NO such luck thus far. Most of my friends are getting married or already married and starting (or have started) their families. I must admit, I do feel a bit ‘left out’ at times but have learned a lot from all of their relationships and the challenges married couples face. I’m so glad Brad touched on the subject of choosing the right mate. I was pretty familiar with some of the things he touched on but the message helped me develop a customized guideline to follow. I plan to be married once. I can say that i will starting putting just as much research in the man I plan to spend the rest of my life with just as much as in the electronics I buy. LOL

  582 days ago3 Replies +34

  • 

    Conversation LeaderCarrie (Discovery Island)

    in reply to Candice

    Candice, you are too funny. I love the electronics comment! Listen, I understand that craving for companionship. There is something special about it. I have a good friend who is going through something similar. I keep telling him that even though that longing is strong, just ensure that in the mean time, the time of waiting until God brings you that special someone, hold tight to Him. He has something He wants to teach you and grow you in. He is preparing you for that right someone. Be willing to hear His voice of love and correction if needed. It sounds like you are in the right mode so I think if you just keep leaning into Him, He will give you all the desires of your heart!

    582 days ago

  • 

    Candice

    in reply to Candice

    Thanks Carrie, I appreciate it! I have decided to, instead, date and spend time with God during this time. The one and only man in my life that loves me more than words could say is patiently awaiting for my full and undivided attention. I cant give God that if im running around fallin for every knuckle head that shows interest. For all I know the man He has for me could be ready and waiting for me but I’m not ready. So I’m going to let God shape and mold me so I can be in the place I NEED to be when I meet my man! Lol! I’m so blessed by this on session and so glad that Northridge made this available! Everyone has so many great words of encouragement and mug experience! Thank you all!

    581 days ago

  • 

    Kirk Stevens

    in reply to Candice

    I have a daughter that left medical school so she could pursue a husband and eventually a family. That was ten years ago, she is still unmarried. She has all the tools, she is good looking, smart, and kind. Of course, this is her father speaking, but it is true. She jokingly claims that most men are scum and that the pickings are getting really slim, so she waits. With our society losing its values so rapidly it is, in fact, becoming more difficult to find someone that you would want to spend the rest of your life with. However, you are in the right place, and believe me there are many men looking for the same things you are. They are out there but you have to seek them out. If they don’t know that you exist chances are they wont find you. My advise as a father of (4) is to make yourself visible. You will get some rejections, I would suppose, but make it their loss, not yours. I believe God does half the work, the last half. He can’t work through you if you aren’t out there.
    The challenges that your friends face become very minor issues when your heart is in the right place. From what you have written you sound like you have a lot of integrity and the fact that you even think about these things shows that you are quite a person.

    581 days ago

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  Ronald Ponkey

  It is funny how God uses bad and good circumstances to bring issues to our attention….Always out of love…caring, and his devotion to us….Sometimes the ride is rough because we make it rough or sometimes it is smooth but either way it is his commitment to us…Now that is Love from our Father!

  582 days ago3 Replies +39

  • 

    Joe

    in reply to Ronald Ponkey

    Well said Ronald. That totally makes sense.

    582 days ago

  • 

    Conversation LeaderEd (Strategic Advancement)

    in reply to Ronald Ponkey

    Ron, I was reminded of your point earlier this week when thinking through this topic. In John 15:1-8, Jesus talks about the vine and branches. In short, God prunes us to make us more like Him, thus producing fruit. However, what I hadn’t seen is the love and commitment to do so. In fact, the gardener is closer to us than anyone else! Think about it. Could it be that God allows unhealthy relationships to pass because He wants us to put him first? Could the difficult circumstances we go through be producing patience? I thank God that He knows what is best for me, when I don’t.

    581 days ago

  • 

    Linda

    in reply to Ronald Ponkey

    I loved what Ed said when he responded. I just went through an unhealthy relationship, he is an athiest I found out, but hoped that somehow I could influence him to let God in. During this time, I havent been to church as often as I have before I met him, and I feel because of that I have not put God first. After reading Eds response I now realize this. And yes, he did break up with me for another who is also athiest, and as much as it hurt, I feel it is for the best. Time to put God first in my life again!! And I thank God that He loves me and will always wait for me to come back to Him!!

    579 days ago

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  Dawn Fines

  I wish I had had the sense to seek wisdom and patience when choosing a husband. I had no idea what to look for. Finally after 59 years I believe along the principles Brad spoke of. Three years at a picnic table sounds like a very good idea! Please, young people, give it time. Love God, and seek his wisdom.

  581 days ago1 Reply +43

  • 

    Conversation LeaderEd (Strategic Advancement)

    in reply to Dawn Fines

    Dawn, thank you for the encouragment. It is hard to follow that which we don’t know isn’t it? Sometime, the Word is like a lightbulb in the area of relationships. Often, wisdom is simply not the norm in our culture. Pausing to see things as Christ sees them is challenging, but always rewarding.

    581 days ago

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  Kirk Stevens

  I realize this forum is to discuss last weeks talk/sermon but I just need to add, after listening to yet another great talk last Sunday, that Brad Powell is the best pastor I have ever run into, and I have experienced many pastors. I was raised Lutheran and we had a great pastor for many years at Antioch Lutheran Church. I have been attending, Northridge for about 10 years and I look forward to every weekend talk. Brad has a way of making you feel that he experiences the same things we experience, and I am sure he does, but many pastors feel that they have to yell at you and make you feel like everything that’s wrong in the world is your fault. Brad is far more educated in the Bible than I am, but he doesn’t make us feel like idiots. He makes us think rather than pointing his finger at us and pounding on a podium screaming that if you don’t change your ways you are doomed and will be thrown into the fire pits of hell. It is very refreshing to hear him discussing the Bible and explaining what God is saying in a educated way. He makes it very clear what is right and what is wrong, but then he encourages us to check him out, not to just take what he says as gospel. I appreciate, and respect, Brad Powell, and I will continue to encourage people to come to NorthRidge and experience a real church.
  No, I am not Brad’s brother-in-law, and I am not being paid by the church, I am completely independent. I am just a person in search of knowledge, and the truth, and I feel that Brad Powell is the one that can satisfy both.
  I know he feels sometimes that the congregation is falling asleep on him, but they are not. They are listening with both ears and absorbing every word. They don’t come to church out of guilt, they come to listen to Brad. I have heard this from many people that attend NorthRidge.

  581 days ago +35

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  Conversation LeaderEd (Strategic Advancement)

  Thanks for the comments Kirk! I appreciate the people we have a chance to serve weekly. I know Brad’s heart is to communicate the gospel with passion, authority, and relevance. People are coming with a desire to grow and the weekend is a catalyst for the conversation to continue throughout the week. Change happens one person at a time. Thank God it is happening in you.

  581 days ago1 Reply +47

  • 

    Kirk Stevens

    in reply to Ed (Strategic Advancement)

    You say it better than I can, thank you Ed. I have listened to you as well, by the way. We, my wife and I, look forward to hearing more from you.

    581 days ago

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  Conversation LeaderEd (Strategic Advancement)

  When I think about my own dating relationships (and those of countless people I’ve meet with over the years), there are four areas that consistently stand as markers to consider in choosing wisely. They are what we think about, what we talk about, how much time we spend with someone, and wisdom and discipline in the area of touch.

  Today, I’ll explore the area of our mind. Romans 12:2 exhorts us to be “transformed by the renewing of our minds.” My generation is driven by sexuality, personal rights, and fantasy. When you consider your relationships, what do you think about regarding the other person? Are you thinking about how they can grow in Christ? Are you thinking about ways to encourage them to be better vocationally, emotionally, spiritually, financially? Or, do you allow the passions of this world to influence your external behavior?

  Often, people begin to spend more time with their significant other, at the expense of existing friendships and relationships. Wisdom may encourage us to not abandon spiritual friendships, but indeed lean into them for accountability and encouragement. Choosing wisely often happens in community, too, because we often don’t see clearly because of our own passions and convictions. Don’t walk alone…walk in wisdom with those who will speak truthfully about what they also see.

  Whether married or unmarried today…what do you think about?

  581 days ago1 Reply +44

  • 

    Kirk Stevens

    in reply to Ed (Strategic Advancement)

    It’s like swimming up stream. The passions of this world are so overwhelming it is hard to remain focused, but we must of course. Advertisements, the media, entertainers, they are all telling you to do your own thing and what should be your priorities. Then once you have refocused on “what would Christ do?” they start all over again bombarding you with little cute snippets form the media regarding the separation of church and state, or if you use our product all your problems will be solved and you will have endless friends. They are filling our heads continuously so, we need people like you Ed to bring us back to reality, constantly, because that one hour in church each weekend just isn’t enough to combat the thousands that are trying to keep us unfocused everyday. We must live it (the truth of Christ), not just experience it on weekends.

    581 days ago